Dep. “As I have not received any notice from Hué, I cannot say what he has done.”
Envoy. “Eight days have elapsed since the two deputies have returned to the capital.”
Dep. “Only five days have elapsed since your last letter to the minister was shown us.”
The deputy was now requested to receive payment for the refreshments sent to the envoy and the ship, as it was unpleasant to accept any thing in the form of presents, the envoy not having obtained the objects of his mission. He was urged not to refuse payment, and assured that the envoy was sorry he was obliged to leave, without having brought about a friendly intercourse between the two nations. He refused, however, all payment as strenuously as it was urged upon him. The things, he said, were mere trifles, and he could not accept any thing for them. Nor in this did he say wrong; for they probably cost the government very much less than their real value, small as that was.
Before leaving, the deputy drank the health of the President; and the health of the emperor of Cochin-China was drunk in return. He then took leave, wishing us health and a pleasant voyage, and a speedy return. He was thanked and told that he must not expect to see us again.
The next morning, the ship got under weigh; and though all day slowly beating out of the harbour, nothing more was seen of the Cochin-Chinese.
TITLES OF ENVOY.
During the discussion with the Mandarins relative to the letter which was to be written to the minister, I refused to consider him in any other light than my equal in rank, as they were so strongly disposed to exalt him, and debase me if possible. The deputies expressed some surprise at this observation, and demanded upon what ground I claimed an equality with them; they were answered, as the representative of an independent power. They then asked what were my titles; if they were of as much importance as the minister’s, and if they were as numerous. They were told that there was no order of nobility in the United States, and so they had been previously informed; still they insisted that there must be something equivalent to it, and that, as I held an important office under the government, I should not be without titles of some sort. Finding the gentlemen were so extremely desirous that I should have an appendage to my name, and as they would not be satisfied with a denial, I at once concluded to humour them. I replied that I would comply with their wishes, and furnish them with the greatest abundance of titles. As they had been extremely unwilling to give the titles of the emperor or the minister, or their own, they probably concluded that I was actuated by the same motives as themselves in withholding mine, whatever they were. The gentlemen belonging to the ship who were in the cabin, looked very much astonished at this reply, wondering how I was to extricate myself from this seeming difficulty; but they were speedily relieved. The principal deputy having prepared his Chinese pencil and half a sheet of paper, sat down to write. I immediately observed to him, that it was necessary to commence with a whole sheet, at which he expressed some surprise, and said that the minister’s titles would not occupy one fourth of it. Having determined to give them, in the first place, the names of all the counties, and the two hundred and odd towns in my native state, as well as the mountains, rivers, and lakes, which would supply the places of titles, and then, if they were not satisfied, to proceed in the same manner with all the other states in the Union, which, by giving first the names of the several states, then the counties, towns, &c., would probably occupy them for some days, if they had had sufficient perseverance to proceed to the end of what I intended should be endless. I then commenced as follows, Mr. Morrison acting as interpreter and frequently translator:
Edmund Roberts, a special envoy from the United States, and a citizen of Portsmouth, in the state of New Hampshire. I then proceeded with the counties of Rockingham, Strafford, Merrimack, Hillsborough, Grafton, Cheshire, Sullivan, and Coos. When he had written thus far, which occupied much time, owing to the almost insurmountable difficulties in rendering them into Chinese, he expressed strong signs of impatience and asked if there were any more; I requested him not to be impatient, as I was very desirous that not one should be omitted, as it was a matter of primary importance in all governments where titles were used. He remarked, that already they were greater in number than were possessed by any prince of the empire. However, he dipped his pencil in the ink, and recommenced as follows: I first took Gosport, in the Isles of Shoals, being farthest at sea, and then went on with the towns on the seacoast; with Hampton and Seabrook, Rye and New Castle, and then Newington, Stratham, and Exeter. Having proceeded thus far, and finding difficulties succeeding difficulties, at every syllable and at every word, he laid down his pencil, seemingly exhausted, and asked if there were any more, as he had then filled a sheet of Chinese paper. I answered, he had scarcely made a commencement: at this he said it was unnecessary to record the rest; and that he never heard or read of any person possessing a like number. He complained of a headache and sickness, owing to the rolling of the ship. I then begged he would desist, for that time, and call on board as early as he could make it convenient on the following morning, for I was exceedingly anxious he should have them all; then there would be no hesitation in acknowledging that I was not presumptuous, when I stated that the prime minister could not be considered my superior in point of rank, as he did not possess so many titles. It was now very evident that he began to be alarmed at the extent of my titles, lest they should totally eclipse those of the minister, and that I might be desirous of ascending a step higher than his excellency. He replied that he was fully satisfied that I was every way equal to him in point of rank. I urged him to proceed, but without effect, for he refused very firmly, but politely, and therefore most reluctantly I was obliged to accede to his wishes.
The whole scene was certainly most ludicrous. Some of the gentlemen could with much difficulty restrain their risible faculties, while others walked out of the cabin, being utterly unable to refrain from laughter, while I kept a most imperturbable countenance until the whole matter was concluded. I renewed the attempt the next morning, when he came on board, but he looked quite aghast at the mere request, and thus ended this farcical scene.