Now, the king, in a terrible riot,
Sang out to his guard down below,
Saying, “Rascals, how can you keep quiet?
Some villain has trod on my toe!
Go out into all my dominions,
Search well every corner and cell!
If I find out the rascal who’s done it,
By Jingo, I’ll tip it him well!”
But a guard who stood close by,
And cared for no man, cared for no man,
Said, “So please your Majesty,
That’s the woman! That’s the woman!”
The king then took her by the hair,
And would not let her go,
Saying, “Madam, please to recollect
You trod upon my toe!”
A lord-in-waiting took an axe
And chopped her skull in two.
The king then, with a gracious smile,
Said, “Thank you; that’ll do!”
This remarkable effusion was always listened to with breathless interest, the callous monarch’s final pronouncement being greeted with thunders of applause.
Another ditty which was in great request was a bloodthirsty piratical song, with a good swinging chorus:—
Hurrah! for a life of war and strife,
A pirate’s life for me!
My barque shall ride the foaming tide,
The demon of the sea.
“Brave Broke” of the Shannon was as popular as in “Tom Brown’s Schooldays”; and there was a youth—said to be partially of Swiss extraction—who gave a song with a most piercing “yodel” to each verse; and there were a great many verses. The other cadets greatly envied him this accomplishment, and the messroom would sometimes resound with embryo endeavours to produce a similar result; causing, on one occasion, a sudden eruption of the lieutenant on duty, who blew a boatswain’s whistle to attract attention, and declared that a repetition of these singular noises would involve a muster of the cadets on deck.
The Britannia was, as has been stated, fully rigged in those days; and the cadets were allowed, and encouraged, to go aloft at all times: the “cheeky new fellows,” indeed, had to go over the topmast head every morning, nolens volens.
In summer there were always a number of lads climbing about on the mainmast and mizenmast, and the more active and venturesome used to compete with one another in the performance of sundry more or less dangerous feats. One cadet endeavoured to immortalise himself by coming down over the “futtocks” with one arm and one leg. Probably the reader is aware that the “futtock shrouds” are the short, stiff, standing ropes from the edge of the “top,” the traversing of which involves a more or less reversed position; it is easy enough for any ordinarily active boy, and the alternative, of going through “lubber’s hole,” was regarded as more or less of a disgrace. It will be obvious, however, that the full complement of limbs is essential to the safe passage of the “futtocks”; a fact which was forcibly impressed upon our young hero by a very hasty involuntary descent into the main chains, resulting in concussion of the brain and a pretty bad scalp wound. However, he came up smiling after a week or so; but did not try it again.
Another aspirant for celebrity conceived the idea of coming down the mizen royal stay “hand over leg”; this stay being a very small rope, and—as it was not called upon to stand the stress of sail—certainly a pretty old one, it was quite on the cards that it might have given way, especially as the gymnast was a good lump of a boy. However, he escaped, and landed in the main-top triumphantly; whence he was called down by the first lieutenant, admonished as a “young [!-- original location of full page illustration --] fool,” and received some slight punishment, pour encourager les autres.