The gait of Arab ladies is very remarkable: they incline the lower part of the body from side to side as they step, and with the hands raised to the level of the bosom they hold the edges of their outer covering. Their pace is slow, and they look not about them, but keep their eyes towards the ground in the direction to which they are going.
The wickedness of women is a subject upon which the stronger sex among the Arabs, with an affectation of superior virtue, often dwell in common conversation. That women are deficient in judgment or good sense is held as a fact not to be disputed even by themselves, as it rests on an assertion of the Prophet; but that they possess a superior degree of cunning is pronounced equally certain and notorious. Their general depravity is pronounced to be much greater than that of men. "I stood," said the Prophet, "at the gate of Paradise; and lo, most of its inmates were the poor: and I stood at the gate of Hell; and lo, most of its inmates were women."[246] In allusion to women, the Khaleefeh ´Omar said, "Consult them, and do the contrary of what they advise." But this is not to be done merely for the sake of opposing them, nor when other advice can be had. "It is desirable for a man," says a learned Imám, "before he enters upon any important undertaking, to consult ten intelligent persons among his particular friends; or if he have not more than five such friends, let him consult each of them twice; or if he have not more than one friend, he should consult him ten times, at ten different visits; if he have not one to consult, let him return to his wife, and consult her, and whatever she advises him to do, let him do the contrary: so shall he proceed rightly in his affair, and attain his object."[247] A truly virtuous wife is, of course, excepted in this rule: such a person is as much respected by Muslims as she is (at least, according to their own account) rarely met with by them. When woman was created, the Devil, we are told, was delighted, and said, "Thou art half of my host, and thou art the depository of my secret, and thou art my arrow, with which I shoot, and miss not."[248] What are termed by us affairs of gallantry were very common among the Pagan Arabs, and are scarcely less so among their Muslim posterity. They are, however, unfrequent among most tribes of Bedawees, and among the descendants of those tribes not long settled as cultivators. I remember being roused from the quiet that I generally enjoyed in an ancient tomb in which I resided at Thebes, by the cries of a young woman in the neighbourhood whom an Arab was severely beating for an impudent proposal she had made to him.
Marriage is regarded by the Muslims in general as a positive duty, and to neglect it without a sufficient excuse subjects a man to severe reproach. "When a servant [of God]," said the Prophet, "marries, verily he perfects half his religion."[249] He once asked a man, "Art thou married?" The man answered, "No." "And art thou," said he, "sound and healthy?" The answer was, "Yes." "Then," said Moḥammad, "thou art one of the brothers of the devils; for the most wicked among you are the unmarried, and the most vile among your dead are the unmarried; moreover the married are those who are acquitted of filthy conversation; and by Him in whose hand is my soul, the devil hath not a weapon more effective against the virtuous, both men and women, than the neglect of marriage."[250]
The number of wives whom a Muslim may have at the same time is four. He may marry free women, or take concubine slaves, or have of both these classes. It is the opinion of most persons, I believe, among the more strictly religious, that a man may not have more than four women, whether they be wives alone, or concubine slaves alone, or of both classes together; but the practice of some of the companions of the Prophet, who cannot be accused of violating his precepts, affords a strong argument to the contrary. ´Alee, it is said, "was the most devout of the companions; but he had four wives and seventeen concubines besides, and married, after Fáṭimeh (may God be well pleased with her!), among all that he married and divorced, more than two hundred women: and sometimes he included four wives in one contract, and sometimes divorced four at one time, taking other four in their stead."[251] This may perhaps be an exaggerated statement, but it is certain that the custom of keeping an unlimited number of concubines was common among wealthy Muslims in the first century of the Mohammadan era, and has so continued. The famous author of the work above quoted urges the example of Solomon to prove that the possession of numerous concubines is not inconsistent with piety and good morals; not considering that God in the beginning made one male and but one female.
It has been mentioned that a Muslim may divorce his wife twice and each time take her back. This he may do, even against her wish, during a fixed period, which cannot extend beyond three months, unless she be enceinte, in which latter case she must wait until the birth of her child before she will be at liberty to contract a new marriage. During this period the husband is obliged to maintain her. If he divorce her a third time, or by a triple sentence, he cannot take her again unless with her own consent and by a new contract and after another marriage has been consummated between her and another husband who also has divorced her.
It is not a common custom, especially among the middle ranks, for a Muslim to have more than one wife at the same time; but there are few of middle age who have not had several different wives at different periods, tempted to change by the facility of divorce.[252] The case of ´Alee has been mentioned above. Mugheyreh Ibn-Sheabeh married eighty women in the course of his life;[253] and several more remarkable instances of the love of change are recorded by Arab writers; the most extraordinary case of this kind that I have met with was that of Moḥammad Ibn-Eṭ-Ṭeiyib, the dyer of Baghdád, who died in the year of the Flight 423, aged eighty-five years; of whom it is related on most respectable authority that he married more than nine hundred women![254] Supposing, therefore, that he married his first wife when he was fifteen years of age, he must have had, on the average, nearly thirteen wives per annum. The women, in general, cannot of course marry so many successive husbands, not only because a woman cannot have more than one husband at a time, but also because she cannot divorce her husband. There have been, however, many instances of Arab women who have married a surprising number of men in rapid succession. Among these may be mentioned Umm-Khárijeh, who gave occasion to a proverb on this subject. This woman, who was of the tribe of Bejeeleh, in El-Yemen, married upwards of forty husbands; and her son Khárijeh knew not who was his father. She used to contract a marriage in the quickest possible manner: a man saying to her, "Khiṭb" ("I ask"—in marriage), she replied "Nikḥ" ("I give"), and thus became his lawful wife. She had a very numerous progeny; several tribes originating from her.[255]
For the choice of a wife, a man generally relies on his mother or some other near female relation, or a professional female betrother (who is called "kháṭibeh"); for there are many women who perform this office for hire. The law allows him to see the face of the girl whom he proposes to marry, previously to his making the contract; but in the present day this liberty is seldom obtained, except among the lower orders. Unless in this case, a man is not allowed to see unveiled any woman but his own wife or slave, and those women to whom the law prohibits his uniting himself in marriage: nay, according to some he is not allowed to see his own niece unveiled, though he may not marry her.[256] It should be added that a slave may lawfully see the face of his own mistress; but this privilege is seldom granted in the present day to any slave but a eunuch. An infringement of the law above mentioned is held to be extremely sinful in both parties: "The curse of God," said the Prophet, "is on the seer and the seen:" yet it is very often disregarded in the case of women of the lower orders.
A man is forbidden, by the Ḳur-án[257] and the Sunneh, to marry his mother, or other ascendant; daughter, or other descendant; his sister, or half sister; the sister of his father or mother, or other ascendant; his niece, or any of her descendants; his foster-mother who has suckled him five times in the course of the first two years, or a woman related to him by milk in any of the degrees which would preclude his marriage with her if she were similarly related to him by consanguinity; the mother of his wife; the daughter of his wife, in certain conditions; his father's wife, and his son's wife; and to have at the same time two wives who are sisters, or aunt and niece: he is forbidden also to marry his unemancipated slave, or another man's slave, if he has already a free wife; and to marry any woman but one of his own faith, or a Christian, or a Jewess. A Mohammadan woman, however, may only marry a man of her own faith. An unlawful liaison with any woman prevents a man from marrying any of her relations who would be forbidden to him if she were his wife.
A cousin (the daughter of a paternal uncle) is often chosen as a wife, on account of the tie of blood which is likely to attach her more strongly to her husband, or on account of an affection conceived in early years. Parity of rank is generally much regarded; and a man is often unable to obtain as his wife the daughter of one of a different profession or trade, unless an inferior; or a younger daughter when an elder remains unmarried. A girl is often married at the age of twelve years, and sometimes at ten, or even nine: the usual period is between twelve and sixteen years. At the age of thirteen or fourteen she may be a mother. The young men marry a few years later.
The most important requisite in a wife is religion. The Prophet said, "A virtuous wife is better than the world and all that it contains." "A virtuous wife," said Luḳmán, "is like a crown on the head of a king; and a wicked wife is like a heavy burden on the back of an old man." Among the other chief requisites are agreeableness of temper, beauty of form (undiminished by any defect or irregularity of features or members), moderation in the amount of dowry required, and good birth. It is said, "If thou marry not a virgin [which is most desirable], marry a divorced woman, and not a widow; for the divorced woman will respect thy words when thou sayest, 'If there were any good in thee thou hadst not been divorced;' whereas the widow will say, 'May God have mercy on such a one [her first husband]! he hath left me to one unsuited to me.'" But according to another selfish maxim, the woman most to be avoided is she who is divorced from a man by whom she has had a child; for her heart is with him, and she is an enemy to the man who marries her after.[258]