Arabian Society in the Middle Ages: Studies From The Thousand and One Nights

by Edward William Lane

Returned to his house, he leaves his friends in a lower apartment, and goes up to the bride, whom he finds seated, with a shawl thrown over her head, so as to conceal her face completely, and attended by one or two females. The latter he induces to retire by means of a small present. He then gives a present of money to the bride, as "the price of uncovering the face," and having removed the covering (saying as he does so, "In the name of God, the Compassionate, the Merciful"), he beholds her, generally for the first time. On the occasion of this first visit, which is called the "dukhool" or "dukhleh," he is recommended "to perfume himself, and to sprinkle some sugar and almonds on the head of the bride and on that of each woman with her (this practice being established by existing usage and by traditions): also, when he approaches her, he should perform the prayers of two rek´ahs, and she should do the same if able: then he should take hold of the hair over her forehead, and say, 'O God, bless me in my wife, and bless my wife in me! O God, bestow upon me [offspring] by her, and bestow upon her [offspring] by me! O God, unite us, as thou hast united, happily; and separate us, when thou separatest, happily!'"[272]

An astrological calculation is often made with the view of determining by what sign of the zodiac the two persons are influenced who contemplate becoming man and wife, and thence ascertaining whether they will agree. This is often done in the present day by adding together the numerical values of the letters composing his or her name and that of the mother, and, if I remember right, subtracting from 12 the whole sum if this is less than 12, or what remains after subtracting, or dividing, by 12. Thus is obtained the number of the sign. The twelve signs, commencing with Aries, correspond respectively with the elements of fire, earth, air, water, fire, earth, and so on; and if the signs of the two parties indicate the same element, it is inferred that they will agree; but if they indicate different elements, the inference is that the one will be affected by the other in the same manner as the element of the one is by that of the other: thus, if the element of the man is fire, and that of the woman, water, he will be subject to her rule. Among other calculations of the same kind is the following:—The numerical values of the letters composing the name of each of the two parties are added together, and one of these two sums is subtracted from the other: if the remainder is an uneven number, the inference is unfavourable; but if even, the reverse.

Next to the service of the husband or master, the care of her children, and attending to other indispensable domestic duties, the most important occupation of the wife is that of spinning or weaving or needle-work. "Sitting for an hour employed with the distaff is better for women," said the Prophet, "than a year's worship; and for every piece of cloth woven of the thread spun by them they shall receive the reward of a martyr."—´Áisheh, the Prophet's wife, thus declared the merit of spinning:—"Tell the women what I say: There is no woman who spins until she hath clothed herself but all the angels in the Seven Heavens pray for forgiveness of her sins; and she will go forth from her grave on the day of judgment wearing a robe of Paradise and with a veil upon her head, and before her shall be an angel and on her right an angel who will hand her a draught of the water of Selsebeel, the fountain of Paradise; and another angel will come to her, and carry her upon his wings, and bear her to Paradise. And when she enters Paradise, eighty thousand maidens will meet her, each maiden bringing a different robe; and she will have mansions of emeralds with three hundred doors, at each of which will stand an angel with a present from the Lord of the Throne."[273]—The arts above mentioned are pursued by the females in the ḥareems of the middle and higher classes. Their leisure-hours are mostly spent in working with the needle; particularly in embroidering handkerchiefs, head-veils, etc., upon a frame called mensej, with coloured silks and gold. Many women, even in the houses of the wealthy, replenish their private purses by ornamenting handkerchiefs and other things in this manner, and employing a delláleh (or female broker) to take them to the market, or to other ḥareems, for sale.[274]

The separation of the sexes undoubtedly promotes the free intercourse of people of the same sex and of different ranks, who thus are able to associate together, regardless of difference of wealth or station, without the risk of occasioning unequal matrimonial connections. This separation is therefore felt by neither sex as oppressive, but is regarded by them as productive of results which constitute the Muslim's chief enjoyments,—the highest degree of domestic comfort, and the most free and extensive society of his fellow men. Thus it is with both sexes; and neither would give up the pleasure that they hence derive for a different system of society, somewhat extending their domestic intercourse, but often destroying the pleasures of home, and contracting into a compass comparatively narrow the fellowship which they enjoyed abroad.

I must now remark upon some other effects of the same system. First, the restriction of intercourse between the sexes before marriage renders indispensable, to some, the facility of divorce; for it would be unjust for a man who finds himself disappointed in his expectations of a wife, whom he has never before seen, not to be enabled to put her away. Secondly, it sometimes renders indispensable the licence of polygamy; for a man who finds his first wife unsuited to him may not be able to divorce her without reducing her to want; and the licence of polygamy becomes as necessary in this case as that of divorce in another. Thirdly, the liberty of polygamy renders the facility of divorce more desirable for the happiness of women; since, when a man has two or more wives, and one of them is dissatisfied with her situation, he is enabled to liberate her. Fourthly, the licence of divorce often acts as a check upon that of polygamy; for the fear of being obliged, by the influence of his first wife, or by that of her relations, to divorce her if he take a second, often prevents a man from doing this. Thus both these licences are required by the most important principle of the constitution of Muslim society, and each is productive of some moral benefit. In considering the question of their expediency, we should also remember that barrenness is much more common in hot climates than in those which are temperate.

The Christian scheme is plainly opposed to polygamy; but as to divorce, some have contended that it only forbids putting away a wife against her will, unless for one cause.[275] Christians are often most unjust in their condemnation of Muslim laws and tenets, and especially condemn those which agree with the Mosaic code and the practices of holy men; such as polygamy (which Moḥammad limited), divorce, war for the defence of religion, purifications, and even minor matters.[276] Moḥammad endeavoured to remove one of the chief causes of polygamy and divorce, by recommending that a man should see a woman whom he proposed to take as his wife.[277] We might imagine that he could have made these practices less common than they now are, and always have been, among his followers, had he given more licence, allowing the man to enjoy a limited association with the object of his choice in the presence of her female or male relations (the former of whom might be veiled), without infringing further the general law of the separation of the sexes. But he saw that such liberty would very seldom, if ever, be allowed: scarcely any parents among the Arabs, except those of the lower classes, permit the little licence which he recommended. Instead of condemning him for allowing a plurality of wives, I think we should be more reasonable if we commended him for diminishing and restricting the number. I think, too, that as Moses allowed his people for the hardness of their hearts to put away their wives, and God denounced not polygamy when the patriarchs practised it, we should be more consistent as believers in the Scriptures if we admitted the permission of these practices to be more conducive to morality than their prohibition, among a people similar to the ancient Jews to whom Moses allowed such liberty. As to the privilege which Moḥammad assumed to himself, of having a greater number of wives than he allowed to others, I have elsewhere remarked,[278] that, in doing so, he may have been actuated by the want of male offspring as much as impelled by voluptuousness.

"On the subject of polygamy," says a writer who has deeply studied Muslim institutions and their effects, "a European has all the advantage in discussion with a Turkish woman, because her feelings are decidedly on the side of her antagonists; but then she has a tremendous power of reply, in the comparison of the practical effects of the two systems, and in the widely spread rumours of the heartlessness and the profligacy of Europe. All the convictions of our habits and laws stand in hostile array against the country where the principle of polygamy is admitted into the laws of the state; but yet, while we reproach Islamism with polygamy, Islamism may reproach us with practical polygamy, which, unsanctioned by law and reproved by custom, adds degradation of the mind to dissoluteness of morals."[279]

It should further be remarked that by sanctioning polygamy Moḥammad did not make the practice general: nay, he could not. It is a licence for the hard-hearted, which restrains them from worse conduct, and in some cases, as already shown, a resource for the tender-hearted. "The permission," observes the author just cited, "does not alter the proportions of men and women. While, therefore, the law of nature renders this practice an impossibility as regards the community, it is here still further restrained among the few who have the means of indulging in it, both by the domestic unquiet that results from it, and by the public censure and reprobation of which it is the object."

I have remarked in a former work that polygamy "is more rare among the higher and middle classes [in Egypt, and I believe in other Arab countries] than it is among the lower orders; and it is not very common among the latter. A poor man may indulge himself with two or more wives, each of whom may be able, by some art or occupation, nearly to provide her own subsistence; but most persons of the higher and middle orders are deterred from doing so by the consideration of the expense and discomfort which they would incur. A man having a wife who has the misfortune to be barren, and being too much attached to her to divorce her, is sometimes induced to take a second wife, merely in the hope of obtaining offspring; and from the same motive he may take a third, and a fourth; but fickle passion is the most evident and common motive both to polygamy and to repeated divorces. They are comparatively few who gratify this passion by the former practice. I believe that not more than one husband among twenty has two wives."[280]

I hope I have shown that though I consider polygamy as necessary in the constitution of Muslim society, to prevent a profligacy that would be worse than that which prevails to so great a degree in European countries, where people are united in marriage after an intimate mutual acquaintance, I consider it as a necessary evil. When two or more wives of the same man live together, or when they visit each other, feelings of jealousy are generally felt and often manifested, and especially on the part of the wife or wives who cannot claim precedence by having been married before the other or others, or by reason of being more favoured by the husband.[281] The wife first married usually enjoys the highest rank: therefore parents often object to giving a daughter in marriage to a man who has already another wife; and it frequently happens that the woman who is sought in marriage objects to such a union. The law provides in some measure against the discomforts arising from polygamy, by giving to each wife a claim to a distinct lodging, affording conveniences for sleeping, cooking, etc.; and further enjoins the husband to be strictly impartial to his wives in every respect. But fruitfulness and superior beauty are qualifications that often enable a second, third, or fourth wife to usurp the place of the first; though in many cases, as I have already remarked, the lasting favourite is not the most handsome.