Philochristus: Memoirs of a Disciple of the Lord

by Edwin Abbott Abbott

But Judas continued: “This also is not the worst. For he hath not only turned from him the Galileans; but besides, since our flight, whereas there is special need to be busy and striving, behold, these ten days, he museth and meditateth, and ceaseth not. Neither are [pg 203]his musings touching war, nor vengeance, nor military matters; but he broodeth over prophesyings and abstruse matters. And a stranger might go near to think that he had conceived an imagination that, because the Lord hath suffered John the son of Zachariah to die, therefore he must needs die also. But unless he be speedily raised up from this humour of dejection, all is lost.”

He said no more at this time, for Jesus came forth into the court-yard where we sat together around the fountain; and straightway we held our peace. Then we fell to discourse of John the son of Zachariah, how great things he had prophesied, and how we had hoped that he should have triumphed with us in the Kingdom of God; and one likened John unto Elias the prophet, saying that he spake in the spirit of Elias, and that many of the common people would have it that this John was indeed Elias risen from the dead. Then another spake of the love in which the disciples of John the son of Zachariah still had their Master, and how, though he were dead, yet did they still cleave to him in their hearts; insomuch that his spirit seemed to rule over them yet more than his living presence. But another said that John the Prophet could not be Elias: for was it possible that the Lord should suffer such an one as Elias to be slain? And to him Nathanael replied that Isaiah the Prophet was sawn asunder, and wherefore not also Elias? Then Thomas, one of the Twelve, lamented for John the son of Zachariah, because he had been thus swallowed up by destruction, neither had he left children to stand in his stead upon the earth; “for they that die, leaving children behind them,” said [pg 204]he (quoting a certain proverb of my countrymen) “die not, but only fall asleep: but they that die and leave no children, these die indeed.” To this John the son of Zebedee made answer that whoso leaveth behind him children perverse and alien from his own nature, he liveth not, for all his children; but whoso leaveth behind him disciples and followers like unto himself and imbued with his own doctrine, such an one liveth, yea even though he be childless and lie in the grave. Hereat methought Jesus was strangely moved: howbeit he sat still where he was, and spake never a word.

But presently mention was made of Jonah the Prophet, how that he also was an exile and fled from his country, even as our Master had been forced to flee. Then Judas said that Jonah had done ill to flee, for that none could flee from the presence of the All-seeing, the Maker of all things, “for,” said he, “the son of man, while he liveth, is like unto a horse tethered by a cord which suffereth him to graze, but resteth still in the hand of his owner.” Thereon some one took up the discourse and said, “Nay, but rather the cord is a cord of love, and the owner is not an owner, but a father;” and another disciple quoted the words of the psalmist, “By thee have I been holden up from the womb.” Thereat Jesus smiled as if to say that that disciple had spoken well, and he bade John repeat the rest of that same psalm. But when John came, in his repeating, to the words, “O God, Thou hast taught me from my youth: and hitherto have I declared thy wondrous works,” then did Jesus seem somewhat moved. But afterwards when John came unto the words, “Thou, which hast shewed me great and sore troubles, shalt give me life again, and [pg 205]shalt bring me up again from the depths of the earth;” then indeed the face of Jesus kindled with a marvellous light, and he bade John cease. But he himself sat, still musing, and his lips moved like unto one repeating the same words over and over again: “Thou shalt bring me up again from the depths of the earth.”

It came to pass that, about two or three weeks after these things we came to Nazareth, where Jesus was born. Now Jesus had not gone to the place these many days. Some said that he came thither now for to shew unto his mother and his brethren (for his father had been long since dead) that he was sound in health and not possessed nor distraught. Others said that he desired to cause his brethren to believe in him; for at this time they believed not. But others said that he desired to bid farewell to his mother before he went forth to deliver Israel; and to this most people agreed.

But when we came to Nazareth, we marvelled that there was so little faith in the men of that place. For they thronged us, as in the other towns, and they were fain to look on Jesus, and called him by familiar names (some being playmates and schoolfellows, some his kinsfolk, and almost all of the number of his acquaintances); moreover they were eager that he should do some mighty work before their eyes; yet could they not believe that he was a prophet, much less that he was the Redeemer of Israel. Neither would they believe that he could drive out evil spirits or heal diseases.

Hence it came to pass that Jesus could do no mighty work there. And when they brought unto him many that were sick, and possessed with evil spirits, he looked on them, but perceived that they had not faith to be [pg 206]healed. Wherefore he healed none of them; save only that he laid his hands on a few that were sick of slight diseases and healed them, and even these not without labour. For the same things happened as once in another city, where a man was healed that had been afflicted with a deaf and dumb spirit. For there, because of the man’s want of understanding and lack of faith, Jesus took him apart from the people (for there was a great stir of traffic and of men coming and going), and made signs to him, at the same time touching his ears and his tongue; and he also spake very loud in the man’s ears, not in Greek, but in the language of the Jews (which is used by the poorer people), saying Ephphatha. In this way the man was healed, but only with labour and by degrees. And so it was now, but even worse. Wherefore Jesus himself marvelled at their unbelief.

Now the cause of their unbelief was that they knew him from a child. For, said one of them to Jesus himself in my hearing, “Behold, these thirty years we have known thy goings out and thy comings in; we have also sat by thy side in the school, and whatsoever thou didst learn we also learned; thou didst play with us at our games round the well; we have seen thee a-working in thy father’s house; our couches and our seats are made by thy hand; and shall we call thee the Redeemer of Israel?” Moreover another bade him come back to the carpenter’s shop; and a third cried out that he had changed trades for the worse, for the Redemption of Israel was a dangerous trade. All these were moved by jealousy, and spake out of the malignity of their hearts.

But a certain old Scribe, Josiah the son of Hezekiah, (which also was the chief Scribe of the place, and had known Jesus and loved him of a child) coming forth from his house, met him and fell upon his neck, and blessed him, and embraced him; and then, when he had looked more narrowly at his countenance, he began to mourn over him as if he were his own son, lamenting for that the bloom of beauty had departed from the countenance of Jesus: “for behold,” said he, “sorrow hath driven out the former brightness of thy joy. Thou wast as the dew of the morning, O my lamb, but art become as the parched ground at noontide. Behold, O my lamb, around thy cradle mercy and righteousness joined hands together; and when thou didst sport amid this valley, lo, truth and peace went ever with thee, and thou didst still hold converse with the angels of God? Unfit art thou, O my gentle one, to do battle with the wickedness of wicked men, and with the cunning arts of the adversary. Verily thou wilt be led as a lamb to the slaughter. Hast thou fathomed the depth of the pit of destruction? Or dost thou know by experience the snares of deceit? Return, O thou that art the apple of mine eye, while there is yet time, lest evil befal thee. For I know that danger compasseth thee around, and if thou shalt go hence, thou wilt come back to me no more.”

Jesus spake comfortably to the old man and consoled him; and while he consoled him, his face shone with joy and love; insomuch that the old man also rejoiced, saying that Jesus appeared now again as he appeared in the days of his youth. But still he besought Jesus to return and to avoid contention with the Pharisees, saying that “no vessel but peace can hold blessing.” [pg 208]But Jesus answered him kindly and bade him farewell. And so we departed from Nazareth.

When we were now come to the top of the hill which looketh down on Nazareth, we rested a little to recover our breath. Now Jesus was sorrowful because of the unbelief of his kinsfolk and acquaintance, and he was silent (as was his wont when sorrow fell upon him), musing and meditating, and, as it seemed to me, praying; even as one striving to unloose the knot of some hard saying or riddle. For the unbelief of his kinsfolk had filled him with astonishment. While he thus mused, we conversed together, and Judas said that it was an error to have come to Nazareth. “For who knoweth not,” said he, “that a prophet hath no honour in his own country? For a prophet known is a prophet despised.”