But John the son of Zebedee replied that it was a strange thing that the acquaintance and kinsfolk of Jesus should suppose that they knew the mind and spirit of Jesus because they knew his outward shape and mien and manner of speech: “For his mind and spirit pass knowledge; and the more a man knoweth thereof, the more a man must needs wonder thereat.” So spake John; but Judas jested at him, and said that John spake as a babe and as a simple clown, knowing nothing of the world. “Yet,” added he, looking up at Jesus, “it is strange methinks that even our Master should also wonder at that which is in no way wonderful.” Then John rebuked him and said, “Knowest thou not the saying of our Master, ‘They that wonder shall reign, and they that reign shall rest?’ Wherefore who knoweth whether it may not be that even our [pg 209]Master day by day learneth some new revelation from God whereat to wonder? For whoso increaseth not diminisheth.”
When I heard these words I looked at Jesus, and behold, it was even as John said. For the sorrow that rested upon his countenance because of the unbelief of his kinsfolk seemed to be passing away, and to be revealing beneath it an exceeding joy, as of one learning some hidden mystery, or hearing some glad tidings. And there came into my mind the words of Barabbas (which were contrary to the words of John), how he said that Jesus did everything with forethought; and behold, both the words of John seemed true and also the words of Barabbas; but the words of John seemed the truer. For though Jesus did naught in haste nor in fear nor perturbation; yet was he not like unto one that seeth all things to come, great and small alike, marked out for him as in a chart, nor like unto him which trusteth in the strength of his own unchangeable will. Nay rather, even as a little child hangeth upon the bosom of his mother and hath no will of his own, even so did Jesus continually look upon earth and heaven and on the deeds and words of men; and, look where he might, he discerned in all things some new knowledge, some revelation concerning the will of the Father in heaven; insomuch that no day passed, yea no hour of the day, but Jesus in this wise held communion with his Father.
By this time Jesus was arisen from his seat, and we ceased conversing together when he drew nigh. But Judas, desirous to say somewhat (so as to hide what he had been saying), pointed down to the white houses of [pg 210]Nazareth and to the fields and orchards which compass the city round in the bottom of the valley; and he said to Jesus that the place was exceeding beautiful, like unto a handful of pearls in a goblet of emerald. But Jesus looked narrowly at Judas for an instant, and then down at Nazareth, and then at Judas again; and the sounds of the bleating of the goats and the piping of the shepherds came up to our ears, and the laughter of the children as they sported round the well. When Jesus heard these things, he sighed, and cast his eyes down again on Nazareth, even on the place of his nativity; and he looked at it for a long while very lovingly. Then he turned away his head and departed, and he saw it no more.
CHAPTER XVI
Now so it was that, at this time, the more the hearts of the people were drawn toward Jesus (for though the people of Nazareth had rejected him, yet was he much honoured in the rest of Galilee), so much the more did Jesus seem to thrust them away. For he began to teach us at this time that he should give us no new law, but a certain manna or bread from heaven. Now if he had said no more than this, this was not hard to understand; for our Scribes also taught in parables after this fashion: but he added that this manna or bread from heaven should be himself, his flesh and his blood, which should be given for the life of the world. Now albeit I have myself heard the Scribes speak of “the days when Israel shall eat the Messiah,”[8] meaning that Israel shall enjoy the presence of the Messiah, yet Jesus seemed to mean somewhat more than this, insomuch that his words were a stumbling-block unto many. And straightway many of them departed from him.
But when I went (according to my wont) to question Nathanael touching these words, he replied that they were hidden from him also. Notwithstanding it seemed to him that at this time our Master was receiving some new [pg 212]revelation, whereof these words might peradventure be a part. For he said that on the day before, when I had been absent, mention had been made of the coming Passover, and how Jesus would not be present thereat; and from mentioning the sacrifice of the Passover they came to speak of other sacrifices; and one said that Jesus had come to take away sacrifice, for that he had said that God desired mercy, and not sacrifice, and that the right sacrifice was that the whole nation should serve the Lord and do His will. Then another, quoting the Scripture, said, “Nay, but the people may perchance stand in the place of the fuel and the fire: but where is the lamb for the burnt-offering?” Then answered another from the same Scripture, and said, “God will provide himself a lamb for the burnt-offering.” And at these words, said John, “the countenance of Jesus changed as if he had heard some new word from God.” Hereat I marvelled greatly, and wondered what new thing the Lord was preparing for us and for our Master. And the words of Judas came to my mind that, because John the son of Zachariah had been slain, therefore Jesus had begun to imagine that he also must needs be slain. But it was but for an instant; for I durst not so much as entertain the thought of so great an evil.
But, as I now judge, the Lord Jesus began at this time to see clearly that he must needs die for Israel, even as John the son of Zachariah had died, and that he must needs rise again (according to the Prophets); even as the common people spake, saying that John the Baptist was at this very time risen from the dead. For he perceived that the needs of the world, that is to say the will of the Father, required that he should rise again [pg 213]from the dead. Moreover as John the son of Zachariah had gained strength through death, so that all men still loved and honoured John, and were more ready to die for him dead than living; even so Jesus perceived that he also should have more strength to help us after his death than before his death. But touching the manner of his rising again, and the time of it, and whether he should appear in his own shape (as he did indeed), or in some other shape (as did Elias in the shape of John the Baptist), concerning all this, what was revealed unto him I know not; the Lord only knoweth. But that he should of a certainty rise again from the dead, this was without doubt revealed unto him; and, as I conceive, about this time.
For this cause, because he perceived that by the giving of his body and blood to die for men, his spirit would pass into his disciples (even as the spirit of John the son of Zachariah had passed into the disciples of John), for this cause, I say, he spake at this time (as he did also afterwards), saying that he would give himself to be the food of men, even the Bread of Life. For his spirit was a spirit of sonship to God, and of brotherhood to men; and except the world should receive this spirit into itself, the world could not be quickened, and the nations of the earth could not pass into the family or kingdom of God.