When Judas at last overtook us, he complained much that Jesus knew in himself what was to come to pass, and yet hid it from his followers. “For,” said he, “we risk our lives for him, yet he trusteth us not.” Now we were displeased at the words of Judas; for we were assured that Jesus did all things for the best. Notwithstanding we were somewhat moved because Jesus thought not fit to tell us beforehand that which was to befall us in Jerusalem and on our journey to Jerusalem. And so it was that, while we were disputing, there was a great clamour in the front of our band, and a cry went up that the Romans were upon us; and straightway there was much stir of men putting themselves in order of defence (those at least that had arms), and certain of the women cried out for fear. And Peter said it was not unlikely that the Romans should fall upon us here; for this was the very place where they had laid ambush for Athronges and slain him; moreover one came running past us saying that he had seen the glittering of their helmets, and that they were lying in wait for us at the corner of the road. Howbeit the report was false; for there were no Romans, but some one had been deceived by the shining of the sun against the rocks, and so had caused all this stir.
Now Jesus was grieved when he saw that some of the disciples were afraid; and he rebuked us, bidding us not to fear destruction of body, but only destruction of soul. He himself also shewed no sign of fear, so that we marvelled at his steadfastness and stoutness of heart. Nevertheless Judas said that it would have been better if Jesus, being a prophet, had forewarned the multitude and had said unto them, “The Romans will not fall upon us [pg 311]save at Bethany, or so many furlongs on this side of Bethany; or, they will not fall upon us to-day, but to-morrow at the seventh hour, naming the place and time exactly:” and this, said Judas, would have been far better than that our band should thus be thrown into a confusion upon a mere rumour.
We said nothing against Judas; for we knew not what to say: neither do I perfectly know even to this day. But Quartus saith that “Jesus knew not all these things exactly, but only generally, and as it were on a large scale; as if a pilot, piloting a vessel into an haven, should know the winds, and the currents, and the shoals, and the aspect and form of the coast, but not all the pebbles upon the strand, nor even the very moment that the ship should come into the harbour. For by certain signs of the times,” said Quartus, “Jesus discerned of that which was to come, even as a wise mariner foretelleth the weather by the clouds, and winds, and the other signs in the heavens. Neither was Jesus like unto a magician or common enchanter, who pretendeth to change the course of things by his enchantment; but he was even as a Son of God, who can read what is in the book of the future, yea, and can shape the future, because he doeth all things in accordance with the invisible laws of God.”
Thus far Quartus; but concerning these things I know not, neither pronounce judgment. But let us return to our journey. Soon after these things, going to John the son of Zebedee, I found him conversing with his mother; and he received me with a constrained countenance not according to his custom. Presently I perceived that his mother desired him to do a certain thing, which he was loth to do. It seemed that Judas [pg 312]had been speaking to her, saying that it was fit that strife should be quenched among the disciples by determining once and for all who should have the first places in the Kingdom; for, said he, until this be settled, there must still be quarrelling among the disciples. For Simon Peter, forsooth, had supposed himself to be chief, because Jesus had blessed him and given unto him a title; but the sons of Zebedee had done no less deeds, and shewn no less zeal, than Peter; and they, as well as Peter, had received a title, having been called Sons of Thunder; wherefore then (said Judas) should they not claim the first places? For himself, he said, he had no thoughts about such high matters; for Jesus loved him not as the rest. Howbeit, he desired that the expedition should not fail owing to the strife among the disciples. Now Jesus had promised that if two or three of his disciples agreed touching anything they should ask, it should be done for them. Therefore he bade the mother of John go with her two sons to Jesus and ask of him a certain favour; and if Jesus granted it, then she was to ask that her two sons might be next to Jesus in the place of honour in the New Kingdom.
When James and John had been at last persuaded by their mother, they made their petition unto Jesus. But Jesus refused it, saying that to sit on his right hand and on his left hand was not his to give, save to those for whom it had been prepared by the Father. For he would do nothing unjustly, nor out of respect for persons; but here, as in all things, he desired to conform himself to the unseen ordinances of the Father. And herein Jesus shewed himself very different from that which he was supposed to be by Jonathan the son of Ezra. For [pg 313]Jonathan supposed that he was misled by his desires, and that whatsoever things seemed to Jesus desirable, these Jesus fancied to be true: but it was not so; for no one ever saw, more clearly than Jesus, that which must needs be. Only he rebelled not against it, but willingly submitted himself to it and embraced it, as being the will of the Father, and therefore very good. For this cause both now and at other times, he spake of all his words and works as being prepared for him; saying that he could neither do nor say anything of himself, but only that which the Father had prepared. Also I marked, both at this time and often before and after, how Jesus joined together in himself virtues that mix not well together in the minds of most. For with most men a nature that judgeth well and wisely is somewhat cold; and they which love warmly, love neither wisely nor well, but are fond. But with Jesus it was not so: for the more he loved men, the more he loved justice and truth; because, as I suppose, his love of men on earth sprang out of his love of Him in heaven whose name is Truth and Justice.
On this same day Jesus spake much concerning that which was to come; and all his words tended to sadness. For he lamented over the divisions among his disciples, and the divisions that should be in the world, saying that it was as if he had not come to bring peace but a sword; yea, and that he had verily come to kindle a fire upon the earth. Moreover of the day of Redemption he spake as though it were a great way off, and the disciples would need to wait long for it, and to watch, and to pray, and to resist many temptations. Howbeit in every parable he spake confidently of a certain day [pg 314]of Decision or Judgment, when the good should be separated from the evil, and the evil should be cast into the fire, but the good should be preserved for everlasting life.
These things he said to all the disciples; but when the Twelve, and we that were always with him, were come to him in the inn where he rested during the heat of the noontide, he spake privately to us concerning our disputings and contentions among ourselves. For he had noted how sorely the rest of the apostles were displeased at John and James; and also at other times he had perceived that we were jealous one of another. Wherefore he besought us (and as it seemed to me there were even tears in his eyes) to be at peace among ourselves. Moreover he spake about himself, saying that he had a cup of sorrow to drink and a baptism of suffering to be baptized withal, and that he had come to give his life a ransom for the multitude. Therefore if any man among us desired to be chief of all and foremost of all, he desired that man to be foremost in serving, and in ministering, and in suffering; even as he also came to be a sufferer and a minister for the multitude.
Then he besought us with great passion and fervency to suffer nothing to come between us and our entrance into the Kingdom, saying that it were better for us to cut off our right hand or pluck out our right eye and so to enter into life, rather than to enter with two eyes and hands into darkness, into the valley of Hinnom, where the worm ceaseth not and the fire is not quenched. Finally, he lamented over the world, how that it was not fit to be a sacrifice to the Father because it was not salted; and he called us the salt of the world: “But if,” [pg 315]said he, “the salt hath lost its savour, wherewith shall the salting be performed?”
Now some of his words were hidden from us, but these last were easy to understand. And we were ashamed of our disputings, and because we were not like unto our Master in singleness of heart. Judas also himself seemed to be moved somewhat at the time: yet, soon after, he spake again as before, saying that it was impossible to obey Jesus, because Jesus said at one time one thing and at another time another; “Wherefore,” added Judas, “inasmuch as our Master will neither plan nor perform aught to do good unto himself, methinks it is meet that we his disciples should strive to do him good, even though it be against his own will.”