Presents are offered first to relations and to friends; and they occur under different circumstances; on our arrival at a place from which we have been absent for a long time; when our intimate friends leave the town in which we reside; on our return from a journey, particularly to the capital; in remarkable and remote countries; on birth days, or days of baptism, or new year’s day.

But this day is not the only occasion of exchanging presents in a family, it is also an occasion for recollecting services and civilities; of making our respects to ladies, to superiors whom we wish to honor. It moreover offers us a delicate means of succoring the unfortunate.

Secondly, at harvest time, if one owns land, in the hunting season, if one is a hunter, it is in good ton [p152] to send to our intimate friends, fine fruits, rare flowers, or some choice articles of game.

The most delicate presents are the productions of our own industry; a drawing, a piece of needle work, ornamental hair-work, &c. But such offerings, though invaluable among friends, are not used on occasions of ceremony.

Next to fitness of time for presents, comes fitness in the selection of them; generally, luxury and elegance ought to reign in the latter; but this rule has numerous exceptions: and although it would be out of place to offer things purely useful (to which certain incidents would give the appearance of charity) still we should be in an error to suppose that a present is suitable, which is brilliant alone. It must by all means be adapted to the taste, age, and professions of persons, and their connexions with us. Thus to superiors, you offer fruits, game, &c. to a student, books;[17] to a friend of the arts, music, or engravings; to young married ladies, delicate and graceful articles of the toilet, &c.

Presents should excite surprise and pleasure, therefore you ought to involve them in a mystery, and present them with an air of joyful kindness.

[p153]
When you have made your offering, and thanks have been elicited, do not bring back the conversation to the same subject; be careful, particularly, of making your gift of consequence. On the contrary, when its merit has been extolled, when the persons who have received the present, have evinced a lively satisfaction, say that the gift receives all its value from their opinion of it.

However slight charm a present may have, or if even insignificant, we should be ill-bred not to manifest much pleasure in receiving it. It is besides, necessary, when an opportunity offers, to speak of it, not to fail of saying to the donor, how useful or agreeable his present is to you. In proportion as a long space of time has elapsed, this attention is the more amiable; it proves that you have preserved the object with care. And this reminds me, that we should never give away a present which we have received from another person, or at least that we should so arrange it, that it may never be known.

It is well to mingle with our manifestations of gratitude, some exceptions to the high value of the gift, but not to dwell a long time on the subject, or to exclaim about it with earnestness. Under some circumstances, these declamations may seem dictated by avarice and a want of delicacy; they are besides in bad taste at all times.

[p154]
We often make a present to some one through his children or wife, especially on new year’s day, when it is the custom to present at least confectionary to the young families of one’s acquaintance. At Paris, we make such presents to married ladies; in the provincial towns, we do not. Above all, when one has received a present of some value, he calls upon the person who gave it, or, if the distance is great, addresses to him a letter of thanks. Every one knows that custom requires us to make a remuneration of a proportionate value, to the domestic who is the bearer of the present.