If it happens that any one exhibits to a circle some rare and valuable object, do not be in haste to ask for it, or to take it by reaching out your hand; wait modestly until it comes to you; do not examine it too long when you have it, and if by chance any ill-bred person requests it before you have seen it, do not detain it; it is better to suffer this small privation than to pass for a badly educated virtuoso.

However insignificant the boasted object may be, never criticise it; if your opinion is asked, answer a few words of praise; if the thing is really curious, abstain from exaggerated compliments.

To violate the secresy of letters, under any pretext whatever, is so base and odious, that I dare not say a word about it; I think, I ought to say, that it is also very reprehensible to endeavor to read any part of a letter folded in such a manner as to be partly open at the ends; and when a certain passage in a letter concerning yourself is handed you to read, you should put your finger below it in order not to [p158] read anything more; and if you are allowed to add anything in a letter, have the discretion not to cast your eyes over the rest, and be expeditious so as to avoid the suspicion that you take advantage of the circumstance.

Politeness is also opposed, in certain cases, to a too great haste to know anything relating to ourselves. For example, if a person brings you a letter, you should not be in a hurry to open it, but see whether the letter concerns the bearer at all, or only yourself. In the first case, you should open it, and read it while he is present; in the other case, you should lay it aside.

Politeness does not, however, impose such restraints upon curiosity in small things, and leave us free in important ones. Thus, we shall not say that we ought religiously to keep a secret, and that confidence received is a sacred deposit; but we shall say to persons who have curiosity to know any private circumstance, that they ought to be filled with shame if they do not desist all importunity as soon as they hear the word, it is a secret.

[p159]
CHAPTER IX.
Of Travelling.

This chapter, although only accessory, and but remotely connected with the social relations, should be added here; as we do not wish to make any voluntary omission, and, besides, if in travelling, the duties of politeness are less numerous, they are not, therefore, less obligatory.

Persons about to travel, ought to make visits of taking leave among their acquaintances, of whom they should ask if they have any commands for them. It would be indiscreet, unless in case of perfect intimacy, to accept this offer, or to ask them to take charge of such or such a thing, especially if it is a packet; if persons are very intimate, we may request them to let us hear of their arrival.

Before their departure, the names of passengers are entered in the order of their numbers, at the public coach offices. After this, each one takes the place assigned him. Politeness, however, requires that a man should offer his seat to a lady who is less well accommodated; for it would be improper that [p160] he should be seated upon the back seat, while she should be seated upon the front one. Some persons cannot bear the motion of a coach when they ride backwards; and this manner of riding incommodes them extremely. Polite travellers will take pleasure in relieving them from this trouble. Ladies, on their part, ought not to require too much, nor put to too severe a test the complaisance of gentlemen. The latter, however, should at every stopping place, attentively help them alight, by offering the hand, and directing their feet on the step of the coach. The same thing is necessary in assisting them to get in again. It would appear badly, to take advantage of one’s superiority of rank, to consult his own convenience alone. It is necessary on the contrary, for him to have great care not to incommode any one, and to show every civility to his fellow travellers.

Politeness in travelling is not so rigorous as in society; it only requires that we should not incommode our companions; that we should be agreeable to them; that we should politely answer their questions; but it leaves us free to read, sleep, look about, or observe silence, &c.