As it was past five when we reached the Castle on Sunday, the Queen said that I might remain to dinner, but that in allowing this she did more for your Royal Highness’s daughter than she had ever done for her own, as she was not used to sit down with their sub-governesses. This, I understand, was not only said at that moment, but had also been her Majesty’s expression at other times when speaking of me; and if reminded that I had the honour of being one of the ladies companions, and not sub-governess, to the Princess, her Majesty had always said that she considered it as the same thing.
Since the dinner of Sunday, I have not been admitted into her Majesty’s presence, and while I make this representation to your Royal Highness, as explaining the reason why I am thus prevented from doing my duty in attending Princess Charlotte, I by no means wish to force myself into the Queen’s society; and I beg leave to remark that were Princesses alone, or the daughters of Peers, allowed to dine with her Majesty, I perhaps, individually, should have no reason to complain; but that, as your Royal Highness well knows, is far from being the case. I must therefore remember that my father was a gentleman, descended from an ancient family; that he served his King and country with uninterrupted loyalty, zeal, and distinction; that he died an admiral, and had, some years before, received the honour of being made a knight banneret under the Royal standard, and of dining with his Majesty.
I must therefore consider that neither my birth nor my situation about her Royal Highness Princess Charlotte render me unworthy of being admitted to her Majesty’s table and parties, and I must look on the exclusion as proceeding from personal displeasure, which I lament having incurred, notwithstanding my dutiful and respectful attachment. I therefore fully confide in the honourable feelings of your Royal Highness, under whose protection I am proud of considering myself, and whose promises of support are indelibly engraved on my memory. I trust I shall never be undeserving of them either in conduct or gratitude, nor of the happiness I feel in belonging to her Royal Highness the Princess Charlotte.
I am, Sir, &c.
April, 1813.
Princess Charlotte wrote two letters to her father on the same subject; but some persons, anxious to complain of the Queen, and to make her proceedings appear in a worse light, advised her to add that the Queen was not civil to the Duchess of Leeds, and other complaints, which rendered my grievances only a part of the whole.
Whatever the Regent might think, he sent no answer to me either by letter or word of mouth, and he made Sir Henry Halford answer Princess Charlotte in a manner very unsatisfactory. Towards the end of the fortnight Lady Catherine and I had two invitations to the evening parties, but it was altogether very odious and uncomfortable, and I was not less pleased than Princess Charlotte to return to town, which we did on the 29th.
CHAPTER XIV.
LIFE AT WARWICK HOUSE—THE PRINCESS CHARLOTTE’S ESTABLISHMENT—HER WARDROBE—THE DUCHESS D’ANGOULÊME—A DINNER AT CARLTON HOUSE—THE DUKE OF GLOUCESTER—THE DUKE OF DEVONSHIRE.