GRANDMA, (admiringly) How like a real man! And what do you do next?
SUSAN. (looking around) I get a pillow. (gets one from couch and puts it lade of dummy) And I wrap up his feet (does it) There, poor dear. He's sleeping now.
GRANDMA. Very good. You will do very well. Remember to teach that wives should obey their husbands and be kind to them. Husbands are such tender creatures. We should love them and obey them. I will see that your room is in order. No doubt you will wish to practise coddling the Ideal Husband a little longer before your classes begin. (exit GRANDMA)
SUSAN, (alone) Get off that chair, you big brute! (jerks dummy of chair) Come home intoxicated, will you? (throws dummy back on chair) Don't talk back to me! (takes up dummy again) You are going out, are you? Well, go out! (walks toward screen with dummy) Out you go! I'll stand no nonsense, I tell you! (throws dummy behind screen) Go, if you want to! There! Coddle and pet them! That's how I coddle and pet them! (looks around) This is a nice situation for Susan Jane Jones, Captain of Company A, First Regiment, Militant Suffragettes! But all is fair in Love and Votes for Women! This academy is the last stronghold of the old-fashioned woman, and from in it the tender young girls learn the vicious habits of keeping house, being good housewives and attending to their own affairs as their grandmothers did. From this root anti-suffragism might spread over the whole world, and I have crept in, like a spy, to corrupt and destroy it. Woman must and will rule! (enter KATE pouting)
KATE. (not seeing SUSAN) I don't care! I don't care one bit! I'm never, never going to speak to John Mason again as long as I live. I think he is just too horrid for anything, (takes off coat and hat and throws them on sofa) I just hate him. I hate every boy that ever lived, I do! I think they are mean, overbearing, egotistical things. (wipes her eyes)
SUSAN. (clapping her hands once) My sentiments exactly! I so consider all men.
KATE. (startled) Oh! I did not know anyone was here. Good morning! (curtseys) Please, you won't tell Grandma Gregg what I said, will you? (with head on one side) She wouldn't like it. (picking at her fingers) She says females should admire and worship all males.
SUSAN. Humph! Fiddlesticks! Absolutely exploded theory. Latest theory is, females should abhor and despise all males. What's a man? He's a worm. A poor silly worm. Now, here! (takes KATE by arm and leads her across stage) We understand each other. You have felt the cruel oppression of a man!
KATE. I—I—I just think John Mason treated me real mean, anyway.
SUSAN. Woman, how else do men ever treat us? We are slaves. But we must be free. You think I am the new Professor of Husbandology, don't you? You think I am here to teach you how to treat husbands, don't you?