192. VII. MARRIAGE ALSO INDUCES OTHER FORMS IN THE SOULS AND MINDS OF MARRIED PARTNERS. That marriage has this effect cannot be observed in the natural world; because in this world souls and minds are encompassed with a material body, through which the mind rarely shines: the men (homines) also of modern times, more than the ancients, are taught from their infancy to assume feigned countenances, whereby they deeply conceal the affections of their minds; and this is the reason why the forms of minds are not known and distinguished according to their different quality, as existing before marriage and after it: nevertheless that the forms of souls and minds differ after marriage from what they were before, is very manifest from their appearance in the spiritual world; for they are then spirits and angels, who are minds and souls in a human form, stripped of their outward coverings, which had been composed of watery and earthy elements, and of aerial vapors thence arising; and when these are cast off, the forms of the minds are plainly seen, such as they had been inwardly in their bodies; and then it is clearly perceived, that there is a difference in regard to those forms with those who live in marriage, and with those who do not. In general, married partners have an interior beauty of countenance, the man deriving from the wife the ruddy bloom of her love, and the wife from the man the fair splendor of his wisdom; for two married partners in the spiritual world are united as to their souls; and moreover there appears in each a human fulness. This is the case in heaven, because there are no marriages (conjugia) in any other place; beneath heaven there are only nuptial connections (connubia), which are alternately tied and loosed.
193. VIII. THE WOMAN IS ACTUALLY FORMED INTO A WIFE, ACCORDING TO THE DESCRIPTION IN THE BOOK OF CREATION. In this book it is said, that the woman was created out of the man's rib, and that the man said, when she was brought to him, "This is bone of my bones, and flesh of my flesh; and she shall be called Eve (Ischah), because she was taken out of man (Isch):" Gen. chap. ii. 21-23. A rib of the breast, in the Word, signifies, in the spiritual sense, natural truth. This is signified by the ribs which the bear carried between his teeth, Dan. vii. 5; for bears signify those who read the Word in the natural sense, and see truths therein without understanding: the man's breast signifies that essential and peculiar principle, which is distinguished from the breast of the woman: that this is wisdom, may be seen above, n. [187]; for truth supports wisdom as the ribs do the breast. These things are signified, because the breast is that part of a man in which all his principles are as in their centre. From these considerations, it is evident, that the woman was created out of the man by a transfer of his peculiar wisdom, which is the same thing as to be created out of natural truth; and that the love thereof was transferred from the man into the woman, to the end that conjugial love might exist; and that this was done in order that the love of the wife and not self-love might be in the man: for the wife, in consequence of her innate disposition, cannot do otherwise than convert self-love, as existing with the man, into his love to herself; and I have been informed, that this is effected by virtue of the wife's love itself, neither the man nor the wife being conscious of it: hence, no man can possibly love his wife with true conjugial love, who from a principle of self-love is vain and conceited of his own intelligence. When this arcanum relating to the creation of the woman from the man, is understood, it may then be seen, that the woman in like manner is as it were created or formed from the man in marriage; and that this is effected by the wife, or rather through her by the Lord, who imparts inclinations to women whereby they produce such an effect: for the wife receives into herself the image of a man, and thereby appropriates to herself his affections, as may be seen above, n. [183]; and conjoins the man's internal will with her own, of which we shall treat presently; and also claims to herself the propagated forms (propagines) of his soul, of which also we shall speak elsewhere. From these considerations it is evident, that, according to the description in the book of Genesis, interiorly understood, a woman is formed into a wife by such things as she takes out of the husband and his breast, and implants in herself.
194. IX. THIS FORMATION IS EFFECTED ON THE PART OF THE WIFE BY SECRET MEANS; AND THIS IS MEANT BY THE WOMAN'S BEING CREATED WHILE THE MAN SLEPT. It is written in the book of Genesis, that Jehovah God caused a deep sleep to fall upon Adam, so that he slept; and that then he took one of his ribs, and builded it into a woman: chap. ii. 21, 22. That by the man's sleep and sleeping is signified his entire ignorance that the wife is formed and as it were created from him, appears from what was shewn in the preceding chapter, and also from the innate prudence and circumspection of wives, not to divulge anything concerning their love, or their assumption of the affections of the man's life, and thereby of the transfer of his wisdom into themselves. That this is effected on the part of the wife without the husband's knowledge, and while he is as it were sleeping, thus by secret means, is evident from what was explained above, n. [166-168]; where also it is clearly shewn, that the prudence with which women are influenced herein, was implanted in them from creation, and consequently from their birth, for reasons of necessity, so that conjugial love, friendship, and confidence, and thereby the blessedness of dwelling together and a happy life, may be secured: wherefore for the right accomplishing of this, the man is enjoined to leave his father and mother and to cleave to his wife, Gen. ii. 24; Matt. xix. 4, 5. The father and mother, whom the man is to leave, in a spiritual sense signify his proprium of will and proprium of understanding; and the proprium of a man's (homo) will is to love himself, and the proprium of his understanding is to love his own wisdom; and to cleave to his wife signifies to devote himself to the love of his wife. Those two propriums are deadly evils to man, if they remain with him, and the love of those two propriums is changed into conjugial love, so far as a man cleaves to his wife, that is, so far as he receives her love; see above, n. [193], and elsewhere. To sleep signifies to be in ignorance and unconcern; a father and a mother signify the two propriums of a man (homo), the one of the will and the other of the understanding; and to cleave to, signifies to devote one's self to the love of any one, as might be abundantly confirmed from passages in other parts of the Word; but this would be foreign to our present subject.
195. X. THIS FORMATION ON THE PART OF THE WIFE IS EFFECTED BY THE CONJUNCTION OF HER OWN WILL WITH THE INTERNAL WILL OF THE MAN. That the man possesses rational and moral wisdom, and that the wife conjoins herself with those things which relate to his moral wisdom, may be seen above, n. [163-165]. The things which relate to rational wisdom constitute the man's understanding, and those which relate to moral wisdom constitute his will. The wife conjoins herself with those things which constitute the man's will. It is the same, whether we say that the wife conjoins herself, or that she conjoins her will to the man's will; because she is born under the influence of the will, and consequently in all her actions acts from the will. The reason why it is said with the man's internal will, is, because the man's will resides in his understanding, and the man's intellectual principle is the inmost principle of the woman, according to what was observed above concerning the formation of the woman from the man, n. [32], and in other places. The man has also an external will; but this frequently takes its tincture from simulation and dissimulation. This will the wife notices; but she does not conjoin herself with it, except pretendedly or in the way of sport.
196. XI. THE END HEREIN IS, THAT THE WILL OF BOTH MAY BECOME ONE, AND THAT THUS BOTH MAY BECOME ONE MAN (homo): for whoever conjoins to himself the will of another, also conjoins to himself his understanding; for the understanding regarded in itself is merely the minister and servant of the will. That this is the case, appears evidently from the affection of love, which moves the understanding to think as it directs. Every affection of love belongs to the will; for what a man loves that he also wills. From these considerations it follows, that whoever conjoins to himself the will of a man conjoins to himself the whole man: hence it is implanted as a principle in the wife's love to unite the will of her husband to her own will; for hereby the wife becomes the husband's, and the husband the wife's; thus both become one man (homo).