197. XII. THIS FORMATION (ON THE PART OF THE WIFE) IS EFFECTED BY AN APPROPRIATION OF THE AFFECTIONS OF THE HUSBAND. This article agrees with the two preceding, because affections are of the will; for affections which are merely derivations of the love, form the will, and make and compose it; but these affections with men are in the understanding, whereas with women they are in the will.
198. XIII. THIS FORMATION (ON THE PART OF THE WIFE) IS EFFECTED BY A RECEPTION OF THE PROPAGATIONS OF THE SOUL OF THE HUSBAND, WITH THE DELIGHT ARISING FROM HER DESIRE TO BE THE LOVE OF HER HUSBAND'S WISDOM. This coincides with what was explained above, n. [172], [173], therefore any further explanation is needless. Conjugial delights with wives arise solely from their desire to be one with their husbands, as good is one with truth in the spiritual marriage. That conjugial love descends from this spiritual marriage, has been proved above in the chapter which treats particularly on that subject; hence it may be seen, as in an image, that the wife conjoins the man to herself, as good conjoins truth to itself; and that the man reciprocally conjoins himself to the wife, according to the reception of her love in himself, as truth reciprocally conjoins itself to good, according to the reception of good in itself; and that thus the love of the wife forms itself by the wisdom of the husband, as good forms itself by truth; for truth is the form of good. From these considerations it is also evident, that conjugial delights with the wife originate principally in her desiring to be one with the husband, consequently to be the love of her husband's wisdom; for in such case she is made sensible of the delights of her own heat in the man's light, according to what was explained in [Article IV., n. 188].
199. XIV. THUS A MAIDEN IS FORMED INTO A WIFE, AND A YOUTH INTO A HUSBAND. This flows as a consequence, from what has been said above in this and the foregoing chapter respecting the conjunction of married partners into one flesh. A maiden becomes or is made a wife, because in a wife there are principles taken out of the husband, and therefore supplemental, which were not previously in her as a maiden: a youth also becomes or is made a husband, because in a husband there are principles taken out of the wife, which exalt his receptibility of love and wisdom, and which were not previously in him as a youth: this is the case with those who are principled in love truly conjugial. That it is these who feel themselves a united man (homo), and as it were one flesh, may be seen in the preceding chapter, n. [178]. From these considerations it is evident, that with females the maiden principle is changed into that of a wife, and with men the youthful principle is changed into that of a husband. That this is the case, was experimentally confirmed to me in the spiritual world, as follows: Some men asserted, that conjunction with a female before marriage is like conjunction with a wife after marriage.—On hearing this, the wives were very indignant, and said: "There is no likeness at all in the two cases. The difference between them is like that between what is fancied and what is real." Hereupon the men rejoined, "Are you not females as before?" To this the wives replied more sharply, "We are not females, but wives; you are in fancied and not in real love; you therefore talk fancifully." Then the men said, "If you are not females (feminae) still you are women (mulieres):" and they replied, "In the first states of marriage we were women (mulieres); but now we are wives."
200. XV. IN THE MARRIAGE OF ONE MAN WITH ONE WIFE, BETWEEN WHOM THERE EXISTS LOVE TRULY CONJUGIAL, THE WIFE BECOMES MORE AND MORE A WIFE, AND THE HUSBAND MORE AND MORE A HUSBAND. That love truly conjugial more and more conjoins two into one man (homo), may be seen above n. [178], [179]; and as a wife becomes a wife from and according to conjunction with the husband, and in like manner the husband with the wife; and as love truly conjugial endures to eternity, it follows, that the wife becomes more and more a wife, and the husband more and more a husband. The true reason of this is, because in the marriage of love truly conjugial, each married partner becomes continually a more interior man; for that love opens the interiors of their minds; and as these are opened, a man becomes more and more a man (homo): and to become more a man (homo) in the case of the wife is to become more a wife, and in the case of the husband to become more a husband. I have heard from the angels, that the wife becomes more and more a wife as the husband becomes more and more a husband, but not vice versa; because it rarely, if ever, happens, that a chaste wife is wanting in love to her husband, but that the husband is wanting in a return of love to his wife; and that this return of love is wanting because he has no elevation of wisdom, which alone receives the love of the wife: respecting this wisdom see above n. [130], [163-165]. These things however they said in regard to marriages on earth.
201. XVI. THUS ALSO THEIR FORMS ARE SUCCESSIVELY PERFECTED AND ENNOBLED FROM WITHIN. The most perfect and noble human form results from the conjunction of two forms by marriage so as to become one form; thus from two fleshes becoming one flesh, according to creation. That in such case the man's mind is elevated into superior light, and the wife's into superior heat, and that then they germinate, and bear flowers and fruits, like trees in the spring, may be seen above, n. [188], [189]. That from the nobleness of this form are produced noble fruits, which in the heavens are spiritual, and on earth natural, will be seen in the following article.