272. I. IN THE NATURAL WORLD ALMOST ALL ARE CAPABLE OF BEING JOINED TOGETHER AS TO EXTERNAL, BUT NOT AS TO INTERNAL AFFECTIONS, IF THESE DISAGREE AND ARE APPARENT. The reason of this is, because in the world every one is clothed with a material body, and this is overcharged with lusts, which are in it as dregs that fall to the bottom, when the must of the wine is clarified. Such are the constituent substances of which the bodies of men in the world are composed. Hence it is that the internal affections, which are of the mind, do not appear; and in many cases, scarce a grain of them transpires; for the body either absorbs them, and involves them in its dregs, or by simulation which has been learned from infancy conceals them deeply from the sight of others; and by these means the man puts himself into the state of every affection which he observes in another, and allures his affection to himself, and thus they unite. The reason why they unite is, because every affection has its delight, and delights tie minds together. But it would be otherwise if the internal affections, like the external, appeared visibly in the face and gesture, and were made manifest to the hearing by the tone of the speech; or if their delights were sensible to the nostrils or smell, as they are in the spiritual world: in such case, if they disagreed so as to be discordant, they would separate minds from each other, and according to the perception of antipathy, the minds would remove to a distance. From these considerations it is evident, that in the natural world almost all are capable of being joined together as to external, but not as to internal affections, if these disagree and are apparent.
273. II. IN THE SPIRITUAL WORLD ALL ARE CONJOINED ACCORDING TO INTERNAL, BUT NOT ACCORDING TO EXTERNAL AFFECTIONS, UNLESS THESE ACT IN UNITY WITH THE INTERNAL. This is, because in the spiritual world the material body is rejected, which could receive and bring forth the forms of all affections, as we have said just above; and a man (homo) when stripped of that body is in his internal affections, which his body had before concealed: hence it is, that in the spiritual world similarities and dissimilarities, or sympathies and antipathies, are not only felt, but also appear in the face, the speech, and the gesture; wherefore in that world similitudes are conjoined, and dissimilitudes separated. This is the reason why the universal heaven is arranged by the Lord according to all the varieties of the affections of the love of good and truth, and, on the contrary, hell according to all the varieties of the love of what is evil and false. As angels and spirits, like men in the world, have internal and external affections, and as, in the spiritual world, the internal affections cannot be concealed by the external, they therefore transpire and manifest themselves: hence with angels and spirits both the internal and external affections are reduced to similitude and correspondence; after which their internal affections are, by the external, imaged in their faces, and perceived in the tone of their speech; they also appear in their behaviour and manners. Angels and spirits have internal and external affections, because they have minds and bodies; and affections with the thoughts thence derived belong to the mind, and sensations with the pleasures thence derived to the body. It frequently happens in the world of spirits, that friends meet after death, and recollect their friendships in the former world, and on such occasions believe that they shall live on terms of friendship as formerly; but when their consociation, which is only of the external affections, is perceived in heaven, a separation ensues according to their internal; and in this case some are removed from the place of their meeting into the north, some into the west, and each to such a distance from the other, that they can no longer see or know each other; for in the places appointed for them to remain at, their faces are changed so as to become the image of their internal affections. From these considerations it is manifest, that in the spiritual world all are conjoined according to internal affections, and not according to external, unless these act in unity with the internal.
274. III. IT IS THE EXTERNAL AFFECTIONS ACCORDING TO WHICH MATRIMONY IS GENERALLY CONTRACTED IN THE WORLD. The reason of this is, because the internal affections are seldom consulted; and even if they are, still their similitude is not seen in the woman; for she, by a peculiar property with which she is gifted from her birth, withdraws the internal affections into the inner recesses of her mind. There are various external affections which induce men to engage in matrimony. The first affection of this age is an increase of property by wealth, as well with a view to becoming rich as for a plentiful supply of the comforts of life; the second is a thirst after honors, with a view either of being held in high estimation or of an increase of fortune: besides these, there are various allurements and concupiscences which do not afford an opportunity of ascertaining the agreement of the internal affections. From these few considerations it is manifest, that matrimony is generally contracted in the world according to external affections.
275. IV. BUT IN CASE THEY ARE NOT INFLUENCED BY INTERNAL AFFECTIONS, WHICH CONJOIN MINDS, THE BONDS OF MATRIMONY ARE LOOSED IN THE HOUSE. It is said in the house, because it is done privately between the parties; as is the case when the first warmth, excited during courtship and breaking out into a flame as the nuptials approach, successively abates from the discordance of the internal affections, and at length passes off into cold. It is well known that in this case the external affections, which had induced and allured the parties to matrimony, disappear, so that they no longer effect conjunction. That cold arises from various causes, internal, external, and accidental, all which originate in a dissimilitude of internal inclinations, was proved in the foregoing chapter. From these considerations the truth of what was asserted is manifest, that unless the external affections are influenced by internal, which conjoin minds, the bonds of matrimony are loosed in the house.
276. V. NEVERTHELESS THOSE BONDS MUST CONTINUE IN THE WORLD TILL THE DECEASE OF ONE OF THE PARTIES. This proposition is adduced to the intent that to the eye of reason it may more evidently appear how necessary, useful, and true it is, that where there is not genuine conjugial love, it ought still to be assumed, that it may appear as if there were. The case would be otherwise if the marriage contract was not to continue to the end of life, but might be dissolved at pleasure as was the case with the Israelitish nation, who claimed to themselves the liberty of putting away their wives for every cause. This is evident from the following passage in Matthew: "The pharisees came, and said unto Jesus, Is it lawful for a man to put away his wife for every cause? And when Jesus answered, that it is not lawful to put away a wife and to marry another, except on account of whoredom, they replied that nevertheless Moses commanded to give a bill of divorce and to put her away; and the disciples said, If the case of a man with his wife be so it is not expedient to marry," xix. 3-10. Since therefore the covenant of marriage is for life, it follows that the appearances of love and friendship between married partners are necessary. That matrimony, when contracted, must continue till the decease of one of the parties, is grounded in the divine law, consequently also in rational law, and thence in civil law: in the divine law, because, as said above, it is not lawful to put away a wife and marry another, except for whoredom; in rational law, because it is founded upon spiritual, for divine law and rational are one law; from both these together, or by the latter from the former, it may be abundantly seen what enormities and destructions of societies would result from the dissolving of marriage, or the putting away of wives, at the good pleasure of the husbands, before death. Those enormities and destructions of societies may in some measure be seen in the MEMORABLE RELATION respecting the origin of conjugial love, discussed by the spirits assembled from the nine kingdoms, n. [103-115]; to which there is no need of adding further reasons. But these causes do not operate to prevent the permission of separations grounded in their proper causes, respecting which see above, n. [252-254]; and also of concubinage, respecting which see the second part of this work.