Ὁ δὲ Ἑρμῆς πρὸς τὸν Τραïανὸν βλέψας, Σὺ δέ, εἶπε, τί διανοούμενος ἔπραττες ὅσαπερ ἔπραξας; Τῶν αὐτῶν Ἀλεξάνδρῳ σωφρονέστερον, [pg 406] εἶπεν, ὠρέχθην. καὶ ὁ Σειληνός, Ἡττήθης μὲν οὖν,[666] εἶπε, καὶ σὺ τῶν ἀγεννεστέρων. ὁ μὲν γὰρ θυμοῦ τὸ πλεῖστον ἥττων ἦν, σὺ δὲ αἰσχρᾶς ἡδονῆς καὶ ἐπονειδίστου. [B] Βάλλ᾽ εἰς μακαρίαν, εἶπεν ὁ Διόνυσος, ἐπεὶ σκώπτεις σὺ πάντας αὐτοὺς καὶ ποιεῖς οὐδὲν ὑπὲρ ἑαυτῶν λέγειν. ἀλλ᾽ ἐπ᾽ ἐκείνων εἶχέ σοι χώραν τὰ σκώμματα· πρόσεχε δὲ νῦν, ὅπως ἀντιλήψῃ τοῦ Μάρκου δοκεῖ γὰρ εἶναί μοί πως ἀνὴρ κατὰ τὸν Σιμωνίδην τετράγωνος ἄνευ ψόγου τετυγμένος. ὁ Ἑρμῆς δὲ βλέψας εἰς τὸν Μάρκον, Σοὶ δέ, εἶπεν, ὦ Βῆρε, τί κάλλιστον ἐδόκει τοῦ βίου τέλος εἶναι; καὶ ὃς ἠρέμα καὶ σωφρόνως, [C] Τὸ μιμεῖσθαι, ἔφη, τοὺς θεούς. ἔδοξε μὲν οὖν εὐθέως ἡ ἀπόκρισις οὐκ ἀγεννής, ἀλλὰ καὶ τοῦ παντὸς ἀξία. ἀλλὰ καὶ ὁ Ἑρμῆς οὐκ ἐβούλετο πολυπραγμονεῖν, πεπεισμένος ὅτι πάντα ὁ Μάρκος ἀκολούθως ἐρεῖ. τοῖς μὲν οὖν ἄλλοις θεοῖς ἐδόκει ταύτῃ· μόνος δὲ ὁ Σειληνός, Ἀλλ᾽ οὐ μὰ τὸν Διόνυσον ἀνέξομαι τούτου τοῦ σοφιστοῦ. τί δήποτε γὰρ ἤσθιες, εἰπέ,[667] [D] καὶ ἔπινες οὐχ ὥσπερ ἡμεῖς ἀμβροσίας τε καὶ νέκταρος, ἄρτου δὲ καὶ οἴνου; Ἀλλ᾽ ἔγωγε, εἶπεν, οὐχ ᾗπερ οὖν ᾤμην τοὺς θεοὺς μιμεῖσθαι, ταύτῃ προσεφερόμην σιτία καὶ ποτά· τὸ σῶμα δὲ ἔτρεφον, ἴσως μὲν ψευδῶς, πειθόμενος δέ, ὅτι καὶ τὰ ὑμέτερα σώματα δεῖται τῆς ἐκ τῶν ἀναθυμιάσεων τροφῆς. πλὴν οὐ κατὰ ταῦτά γε ὑμᾶς εἶναι μιμητέους, ἀλλὰ κατὰ τὴν διάνοιαν ὑπέλαβον. [334] ὀλίγον ὁ Σειληνὸς διαπορήσας[668] [pg 408] ὥσπερ ὑπὸ πύκτου δεξιοῦ πληγείς, Εἴρηται μέν σοι τοῦτο, εἶπε, τυχὸν οὐκ ἀτόπως, ἐμοὶ δέ, ἔφη, φράσον, τί ποτε ἐνόμιζες εἶναι τὴν τῶν θεῶν μίμησιν; καὶ ὅς, Δεῖσθαι μὲν ὡς ἐλαχίστων, εὖ ποιεῖν δὲ ὡς ὅ, τι μάλιστα πλείστους. Μῶν οὖν, εἶπεν, οὐδενὸς ἐδέου; καὶ ὁ Μάρκος, Ἐγὼ μὲν οὐδενός, ἴσως δὲ τὸ σωμάτιόν μου μικρῶν. δόξαντος οὖν [B] καὶ τοῦτο ὀρθῶς εἰρηκέναι τοῦ Μάρκου, τὸ τέλος ἀπορούμενος ὁ Σειληνὸς ἐπιφύεται τοῖς περὶ τὸν παῖδα καὶ τὴν γαμετὴν αὐτῷ δοκοῦσιν οὐκ ὀρθῶς οὐδὲ κατὰ λόγον πεποιῆσθαι, τὴν μὲν ὅτι ταῖς ἡρωίναις ἐνέγραψε, τῷ δὲ ὅτι τὴν ἡγεμονίαν ἐπέτρεψεν. Ἐμιμησάμην, εἶπε, καὶ κατὰ τοῦτο τοὺς θεούς· Ὁμήρῳ μὲν γὰρ ἐπειθόμην λέγοντι περὶ τῆς γαμετῆς, [C] ὅτι ἄρα, ὅστις ἀγαθὸς καὶ ἐχέφρων, τὴν αὑτοῦ φιλέει καὶ κήδεται· περὶ δὲ τοῦ παιδὸς αὐτοῦ τοῦ Διὸς ἀπόφασιν ἔχω· αἰτιώμενος γὰρ τὸν Ἄρεα, Πάλαι ἄν, εἶπεν, ἐβέβλησο τῷ κεραυνῷ, εἰ μὴ διὰ τὸ παῖδά σε εἶναι ἠγάπων. ἄλλως τε καὶ οὐδὲ ᾤμην ἐγὼ τὸν παῖδα πονηρὸν οὕτως ἔσεσθαι. εἰ δὲ ἡ νεότης ἐφ᾽ ἑκάτερα μεγάλας ποιουμένη ῥοπὰς ἐπὶ τὸ χεῖρον ἠνέχθη, οὐχὶ πονηρῷ τὴν ἡγεμονίαν ἐπέτρεψα, συνηνέχθη δὲ τὸν λαβόντα πονηρὸν γενέσθαι. [D] τά τε οὖν περὶ τὴν γυναῖκα πεποίηταί μοι κατὰ ζῆλον Ἀχιλλέως τοῦ θείου, καὶ τὰ περὶ τὸν παῖδα κατὰ μίμησιν τοῦ μεγίστου Διός, ἄλλως τε καὶ οὐδὲν καινοτομήσαντι. παισί τε γὰρ νόμιμον ἐπιτρέπειν τὰς διαδοχάς, καὶ [pg 410] τοῦτο ἅπαντες εὔχονται, [335] τήν τε γαμετὴν οὐκ ἐγὼ πρῶτος, ἀλλὰ μετὰ πολλοὺς ἄλλους ἐτίμησα. ἴσως δὲ τὸ μὲν ἄρξασθαι τῶν τοιούτων οὐκ ἔστιν εὔλογον, τὸ δὲ ἐπὶ πολλῶν γενόμενον τοὺς οἰκειοτάτους ἀποστερεῖν ἐγγὺς ἀδικίας. ἀλλ᾽ ἔλαθον ἐμαυτὸν ἐγὼ μακρότερα ἀπολογούμενος πρὸς εἰδότας ὑμᾶς, ὦ Ζεῦ καὶ θεοί· διόπερ μοι τῆς προπετείας ταυτησί συγγνώμονες γένοισθε.
(Then Hermes addressing Trajan said, “Now you tell us what was the principle that guided all your actions?” “My aims,” he replied, “were the same as Alexander's, but I acted with more prudence.” “Nay,” said Silenus, “you were the slave of more ignoble passions. Anger was nearly always his weak point, but yours was pleasure of the vilest and most infamous sort.” “Plague take you!” exclaimed Dionysus, “You keep railing at them all and you don't let them say a word for themselves. However, in their case there was some ground for your sarcasms, but now consider well what you can find to criticise in Marcus. For in my opinion he is a man, to quote Simonides, ‘four-square and made without a flaw.’ ”[669] Then Hermes addressed Marcus and said, “And you, Verus, what did you think the noblest ambition in life?” In a low voice he answered modestly, “To imitate the gods.” This answer they at once agreed was highly noble and in fact the best possible. And even Hermes did not wish to cross-examine him further, since he was convinced that Marcus would answer every question equally well. The other gods were of the same mind; only Silenus cried “By Dionysus I shall not let this sophist off so easily. Why then did you eat bread and drink wine and not ambrosia and nectar like us?” “Nay,” he replied, “it was not in the fashion of my meat and drink that I thought to imitate the gods. But I nourished my body because I believed, though perhaps falsely, that even your bodies require to be nourished by the fumes of sacrifice. Not that I supposed I ought to imitate you in that respect, but rather your minds.” For the moment Silenus was at a loss as though he had been hit by a good boxer,[670] then he said “There is perhaps something in what you say; but now tell me what did you think was really meant by ‘imitating the gods.’ ” “Having the fewest possible needs and doing good to the greatest possible number.” “Do you mean to say,” he asked, “that you had no needs at all?” “I,” said Marcus, “had none, but my wretched body had a few, perhaps.” Since in this also Marcus seemed to have answered wisely, Silenus was at a loss, but finally fastened on what he thought was foolish and unreasonable in the Emperor's behaviour to his son and his wife, I mean in enrolling the latter among the deified and entrusting the empire to the former. “But in that also,” said the other, “I did but imitate the gods. I adopted the maxim of Homer when he says ‘the good and prudent man loves and cherishes his own wife,’[671] while as to my son I can quote the excuse of Zeus himself when he is rebuking Ares: ‘Long ago,’ he says, ‘I should have smitten thee with a thunderbolt, had I not loved thee because thou art my son.’[672] Besides, I never thought my son would prove so wicked. Youth ever vacillates between the extremes of vice and virtue, and if in the end he inclined to vice, still he was not vicious when I entrusted the empire to him; it was only after receiving it that he became corrupted. Therefore my behaviour to my wife was modelled on that of the divine Achilles, and that to my son was in imitation of supreme Zeus. Moreover, in neither case did I introduce any novelty. It is the custom to hand down the succession to a man's sons, and all men desire to do so; as for my wife I was not the first to decree divine honours to a wife, for I followed the example of many others. It is perhaps absurd to have introduced any such custom, but it would be almost an injustice to deprive one's nearest and dearest of what is now long-established. However, I forget myself when I make this lengthy explanation to you, O Zeus and ye other gods; for ye know all things. Forgive me this forwardness.”)
Παυσαμένου δὲ καὶ τοῦδε τοῦ λόγου, τὸν Κωνσταντῖνον ὁ Ἑρμῆς ἤρετο, [B] Σὺ δὲ τί καλὸν ἐνόμισας; Πολλά, εἶπε, κτησάμενον πολλὰ χαρίσασθαι, ταῖς τ᾽ ἐπιθυμίαις ταῖς ἑαυτοῦ καὶ ταῖς τῶν φίλων ὑπουργοῦντα. ἀνακαγχάσας οὖν ὁ Σειληνὸς μέγα, Ἀλλ᾽ ἦ τραπεζίτης εἶναι, ἔφη, θέλων ἐλελήθεις σεαυτὸν ὀψοποιοῦ καὶ κομμωτρίας βίον ζῶν;[673] ᾐνίττετο δ᾽ αὐτὰ πάλαι μὲν ἥ τε κόμη τό τε εἶδος, ἀτὰρ νῦν καὶ ἡ γνώμη σοῦ κατηγορεῖ. τούτου μὲν οὖν ὁ Σειληνὸς πικρότερόν τως καθήψατο.
(When Marcus had finished his speech, Hermes asked Constantine, “And what was the height of your ambition?” “To amass great wealth,” he answered, “and then to spend it liberally so as to gratify my own desires and the desires of my friends.” At this Silenus burst into a loud laugh, and said, “If it was a banker that you wanted to be, how did you so far forget yourself as to lead the life of a pastrycook and hairdresser? Your locks and your fair favour[674] betokened this all along, but what you say about your motives convicts you.” Thus did Silenus sharply reprove Constantine.)
[C] Σιωπῆς δὲ γενομένης ἔφερον οἱ θεοὶ λάθρᾳ τὰς ψήφους. εἶτα ἐγένοντο πολλαὶ τῷ Μάρκῳ. κοινολογησάμενος δὲ ὁ Ζεὺς ἰδίᾳ πρὸς τὸν πατέρα προσέταξε κηρῦξαι τῷ Ἑρμῇ. ὁ δὲ ἐκήρυττεν, Ἄνδρες οἱ παρελθόντες ἐπὶ τουτονὶ τὸν ἀγῶνα, νόμοι παρ᾽ ἡμῖν εἰσι καὶ κρίσεις τοιαῦται γίνονται, ὥστε καὶ τὸν νικῶντα χαίρειν καὶ τὸν ἡττώμενον μὴ μέμφεσθαι. πορεύεσθε οὖν, εἶπεν, ὅποι φίλον ἑκάστῳ, [D] ὑπὸ θεοῖς ἡγεμόσι βιωσόμενοι τὸ ἐντεῦθεν· ἑλέσθω δ᾽ ἕκαστος ἑαυτῷ τὸν προστάτην τε καὶ ἡγεμόνα. μετὰ τὸ κήρυγμα [pg 412] τοῦτο ὁ μὲν Ἀλέξανδρος ἔθει πρὸς τὸν Ἡρακλέα, Ὀκταβιανὸς δὲ πρὸς τὸν Ἀπόλλωνα, ἀμφοῖν δὲ ἀπρὶξ εἴχετο τοῦ Διὸς καὶ Κρόνου Μάρκος. πλανώμενον δὲ πολλὰ καὶ περιτρέχοντα τὸν Καίσαρα κατελεήσας ὁ μέγας Ἄρης ἥ τε Ἀφροδίτη παρ᾽ ἑαυτοὺς ἀκαλεσάτην· Τραïανὸς δὲ παρὰ τὸν Ἀλέξανδρον ἔθει ὡς ἐκείνῳ συγκαθεδούμενος. [336] ὁ δὲ Κωνσταντίνος, οὐχ εὑρίσκων ἐν θεοῖς τοῦ βίου τὸ ἀρχέτυπον, ἐγγύθεν τὴν Τρυφὴν κατιδὼν ἔδραμε πρὸς αὐτήν· ἡ δὲ ὑπολαβοῦσα μαλακῶς καὶ περιβαλοῦσα τοῖς πήχεσι πέπλοις τε αὐτὸν ποικίλοις ἀσκήσασα καὶ καλλωπίσασα πρὸς τὴν Ἀσωτίαν ἀπήγαγεν, ἵνα καὶ τὸν Ἰησοῦν εὑρὼν ἀναστρεφόμενον καὶ προαγορεύοντα πᾶσιν, “Ὅστις φθορεύς, ὅστις μιαιφόνος, ὅστις ἐναγὴς καὶ βδελυρός, [B] ἴτω θαρρῶν· ἀποφανῶ γὰρ αὐτὸν τουτῳὶ τῷ ὕδατι λούσας αὐτίκα καθαρόν, κἂν πάλιν ἔνοχος τοῖς αὐτοῖς γένηται, δώσω τὸ στῆθος πλήξαντι καὶ τὴν κεφαλὴν τατάξαντι καθαρῷ γενέσθαι,” σφόδρα ἄσμενος ἐνέτυχεν αὐτῷ, συνεξαγαγὼν τῆς τῶν θεῶν ἀγορᾶς τοὺς παῖδας. ἐπέτριβον δ᾽ αὐτόν τε κἀκείνους οὐχ ἧττον τῆς ἀθεότητος οἱ παλαμναῖοι δαίμονες, αἱμάτων συγγενῶν τιννύμενοι δίκας, ἕως ὁ Ζεὺς διὰ τὸν Κλαύδιον καὶ Κωνστάντιον ἔδωκεν ἀναπνεῦσαι.
(Then silence was proclaimed and the gods cast a secret ballot. It turned out that Marcus had most of the votes. After conferring apart with his father,[675] Zeus bade Hermes make a proclamation as follows: “Know all ye mortals who have entered this contest, that according to our laws and decrees the victor is allowed to exult but the vanquished must not complain. Depart then wherever you please, and in future live every one of you under the guidance of the gods. Let every man choose his own guardian and guide.” After this announcement, Alexander hastened to Heracles, and Octavian to Apollo, but Marcus attached himself closely to Zeus and Kronos. Caesar wandered about for a long time and ran hither and thither, till mighty Ares and Aphrodite took pity on him and summoned him to them. Trajan hastened to Alexander and sat down near him. As for Constantine, he could not discover among the gods the model of his own career, but when he caught sight of Pleasure, who was not far off, he ran to her. She received him tenderly and embraced him, then after dressing him in raiment of many colours and otherwise making him beautiful, she led him away to Incontinence. There too he found Jesus, who had taken up his abode with her and cried aloud to all comers: “He that is a seducer, he that is a murderer, he that is sacrilegious and infamous, let him approach without fear! For with this water will I wash him and will straightway make him clean. And though he should be guilty of those same sins a second time, let him but smite his breast and beat his head and I will make him clean again.” To him Constantine came gladly, when he had conducted his sons forth from the assembly of the gods. But the avenging deities none the less punished both him and them for their impiety, and exacted the penalty for the shedding of the blood of their kindred,[676] until Zeus granted them a respite for the sake of Claudius and Constantius.[677])
[C] Σοὶ δέ, πρὸς ἡμᾶς λέγων ὁ Ἑρμῆς, δέδωκα τὸν πατέρα Μίθραν ἐπιγνῶναι· σὺ δ᾽ αὐτοῦ τῶν ἐντολῶν ἔχου, πεῖσμα καὶ ὅρμον ἀσφαλῆ ζῶντί τε σεαυτῷ παρασκευάζων, καὶ ἡνίκα ἂν ἐνθένδε ἀπιέναι δέῃ, μετὰ τῆς ἀγαθῆς ἐλπίδος ἡγεμόνα θεὸν εὐμενῆ καθιστὰς σεαυτῷ.
(“As for thee,” Hermes said to me, “I have granted thee the knowledge of thy father Mithras. Do thou keep his commandments, and thus secure for thyself a cable and sure anchorage throughout thy life, and when thou must depart from the world thou canst with good hopes adopt him as thy guardian god.”)