(I therefore ask for forgiveness, in the first place for myself, and in my turn I grant it to you also since you emulate the manners of your forefathers, nor do I bring it against you as a reproach when I say that you are)
[349] Ψεῦσταί τ᾽ ὀρχησταί τε χοροιτυπίῃσιν ἄριστοι,
(“Liars and dancers, well skilled to dance in a chorus”;[724])
τοὐναντίον δὲ ἀντ᾽ ἐγκωμίων ὑμῖν προσεῖναί [pg 452] φημι πατρίων ζῆλον ἐπιτηδευμάτων. ἐπεὶ καὶ Ὅμηρος ἐπαινῶν τὸν Αὐτόλυκόν φησι περιεῖναι πάντων
(on the contrary it is in the place of a panegyric that I ascribe to you emulation of the practice of your forefathers. For Homer too is praising Autolycus when he says that he surpassed all men)
Κλεπτοσύνῃ θ᾽ ὅρκῳ τε.
(“in stealing and perjury.”[725])
καὶ ἐμαυτοῦ τὴν σκαιότητα καὶ τὴν ἀμαθίαν καὶ τὴν δυσκολίαν [B] καὶ τὸ μὴ ῥᾳδίως μαλάττεσθαι μηδὲ ἐπὶ τοῖς δεομένοις ἢ τοῖς ἐξαπατῶσι τὰ ἐμαυτοῦ ποιεῖσθαι μηδὲ ταῖς βοαῖς εἴκειν καὶ τὰ τοιαῦτα στέργω ὀνείδη. πότερα μὲν οὖν ἐστι κουφότερα, θεοῖς ἴσως δῆλον, ἐπείπερ ἀνθρώπων οὐδεὶς οἷός τε ἡμῖν ἐστιν ὑπὲρ τῶν διαφορῶν βραβεῦσαι· πεισόμεθα γὰρ οὐδαμῶς αὐτῷ διὰ φιλαυτίαν, θαυμάζειν γὰρ εἰκὸς τὰ ἑαυτοῦ ἕκαστον, ἀτιμάζειν δὲ τὰ παρὰ τοῖς ἄλλοις. ὁ δὲ τῷ τὰ ἐναντία ζηλοῦντι νέμων συγγνώμην εἶναί μοι δοκεῖ πρᾳότατος.
(And as for my own awkwardness and ignorance and ill-temper, and my inability to be influenced, or to mind my own business when people beg me to do so or try to deceive me and that I cannot yield to their clamour—even such reproaches I gladly accept. But whether your ways or mine are more supportable is perhaps clear to the gods, for among men there is no one capable of arbitrating in our disagreement. For such is our self-love that we shall never believe him, since everyone of us naturally admires his own ways and despises those of other men. In fact he who grants indulgence to one whose aims are the opposite of his own is, in my opinion, the most considerate of men.)
[C] Ἐγὼ δὲ ἐννοήσας εὑρίσκω καὶ ἕτερα δεινὰ ἐμαυτὸν εἰργασμένον. πόλει γὰρ προσιὼν ἐλευθέρᾳ, τὸν αὐχμὸν τῶν τριχῶν οὐκ ἀνεχομένῃ, ὥσπερ οἱ κουρέων ἀποροῦντες ἄκαρτος καὶ βαθυγένειος εἰσέδραμον· ἐνόμισας ἂν Σμικρίνην ὁρᾶν ἢ Θρασυλέοντα, δύσκολον πρεσβύτην ἢ στρατιώτην ἀνόητον, ἐξὸν φανῆναι τῷ καλλωπισμῷ παῖδα ὡραῖον καὶ γενέσθαι μειράκιον, εἰ μὴ τὴν ἡλικίαν, τὸν τρόπον γε [D] καὶ τὴν ἁβρότητα τοῦ προσώπου. “Οὐκ οἶσθα ἀνθρώποις ὁμιλεῖν, οὐδ᾽ ἐπαινέτης [pg 454] εἶ τοῦ Θεόγνιδος, οὐδὲ μιμῇ τὸν ἀφομοιούμενον ταῖς πέτραις πολύπουν, ἀλλ᾽ ἡ λεγομένη Μυκόνιος ἀγροικία τε καὶ ἀμαθία καὶ ἀβελτηρία πρὸς πάντας ἐπιτηδεύεται παρὰ σοῦ. λέληθέ σε ὅτι[726] πολλοῦ δεῖ ταῦτα εἶναι Κελτοὶ καὶ Θρᾷκες καὶ Ἰλλυριοί; οὐχ ὁρᾷς, ὁπόσα μὲν ἐν τῇ πόλει ταύτῃ καπηλεῖα; [350] σὺ δὲ ἀπεχθάνῃ τοῖς καπήλοις οὐ ξυγχωρῶν ὁπόσου βούλονται πωλεῖν αὐτοὺς[727] τῷ δήμῳ τὰ ἐπιτήδεια καὶ τοῖς ἐπιδημοῦσιν. οἱ δὲ τοὺς κεκτημένους τὴν γῆν αἰτιῶνται. σὺ δὲ καὶ τούτους ἐχθροὺς ποιεῖ σαυτῷ τὰ δίκαια ποιεῖν ἀναγκάζων. οἱ δὲ ἐν τέλει τῆς πόλεως ἀμφοῖν μετέχοντες ταῖν ζημίαιν, ὥσπερ οἶιμαι πρότερον ἔχαριρον διχόθεν καρπούμενοι τὰς ὠφελείας, [B] καὶ ὡς κεκτημένοι καὶ ὡς καπηλεύοντες, τὰ νῦν εἰκότως λυποῦνται δι᾽ ἀμφοτέρων ἀφῃρημένοι τὰς ἐπικερδείας. ὁ δὲ τῶν Σύρων δῆμος οὐκ ἔχων μεθύειν οὐδὲ κορδακίζειν ἄχθεται. σὺ δὲ σῖτον ἄφθονον παρέχων οἴει τρέφειν αὐτοὺς ἱκανῶς. ἐκεῖνο δέ σου χαρίεν, ὅτι οὐδὲ ὅπως ἰχθὺς ἐν τῇ πόλει πετραῖος ἔσται σκοπεῖς· ἀλλὰ καὶ πρῴην μεμφομένου τινός, ὡς οὔτε ἰχθυδίων οὔτε ὀρνίθων πολλῶν [pg 456] εὑρισκομένων ἐν ἀγορᾷ, [C] τωθαστικὸν μάλα ἐγέλασας, ἄρτου καὶ οἴνου καὶ ἐλαίου τῇ σώφρονι πόλει δεῖν φάμενος, κρεῶν δ᾽ ἤδη τῇ τρυφώσῃ· τὸ γὰρ καὶ ἰχθύων καὶ ὀρνιθίων λόγον ποιεῖσθαι πέρα τρυφῆς εἶναι καὶ ἧς οὐδὲ τοῖς ἐν Ἰθάκῃ μνηστῆρσι μετῆν ἀσελγείας. ὅτῳ δὲ οὐκ ἐν ἡδονῇ κρέα ὕεια καὶ προβάτεια σιτεῖσθαι, τῶν ὀσπρίων ἁπτόμενος εὖ πράξει. ταῦτα ἐνόμισας Θρᾳξὶ νομοθετεῖν [D] τοῖς σεαυτοῦ πολίταις ἢ τοῖς ἀναισθήτοις Γαλάταις, οἵ σε ἐπαιδοτρίβησαν καθ᾽ ἡμῶν ‘πρίνινον, σφενδάμνινον,’ οὐκέτι μέντοι καὶ ‘Μαραθωνομάχον,’ ἀλλ᾽ Ἀχαρνέα μὲν ἐξ ἡμισείας, ἀηδῆ δ᾽ ἄνδρα παντάπασι καὶ ἄνθρωπον ἄχαριν. οὐ κρεῖττον ἦν ὀδωδέναι μύρων τὴν ἀγορὰν βαδίζοντός σου καὶ παῖδας ἡγεῖσθαι καλούς, εἰς οὓς ἀποβλέψουσιν οἱ πολῖται, καὶ χοροὺς γυναικῶν, ὁποῖοι παρ᾽ ἡμῖν ἵστανται καθ᾽ ἑκάστην ἡμέραν;”