"Aunt Julia's things are so lovely I'm always afraid of spoiling them." May sat down on the couch among the batik pillows and made a place for him beside her. Her face was blanched by the bright colors. Her short skirts drew up and showed her thin legs above her untidy shoes.
Paul seated himself at the other end and rested his head uncomfortably against the wall. "I suppose your Aunt Julia calls all these gew-gaws art." Whenever he tried to be superior some external force of evil seemed to frustrate his effort.
"Now, Paul, they're lovely!"
"I wonder how Aunt Julia relates this fol-de-rol to her soulful interest in the working class."
"But some of it's only tie dye, Paul. She did it herself out of an old dress."
Paul was baffled, but he preserved the sneer on his lips. Humming under his breath, he tilted his head back and stared at the ceiling.
"I hope you've decided not to go 'way, Paul, like you told me last time. If you go away without telling them—your uncle and aunt—you're only eighteen—it will hurt them so." She could not look at him, for her eyes were full of tears.
Paul knew that she was suffering. Silly little thing! He went on humming, but interrupted himself to say, "Nothing but their vanity has ever been hurt by anything I've done. They want me to go on and study medicine—or law. What for? I don't care what becomes of me."
May bit her lips and twisted her fingers together. When Paul talked recklessly she knew that it was wicked because it hurt so much. It made her unhappy to be told that one needed to explain what one felt. She could not understand the thing that was good if it did not make one glad. It never occurred to her to try to justify herself before some obscure principle. Yet others had convinced her of her lack and she was in a continual state of apology toward them because so much was beyond her. She loved Aunt Julia. She wanted Paul to love her.
May wondered if Paul despised her because she never resented it when he kissed her. But the suspicion of his contempt, while it confused her, did no more than emphasize her conviction of helplessness.