Above suggestions should not be followed with intemperance. But certainly more sense and less syntax (good or bad) in translations of Aeschylus might be a relief.
Chor. Anapest:
"O iniquam Helenam, una quae multas,1464
Multas admodum animas
Perdidisti ad Trojam!
Nunc vero nobilem memorabilem (Agam. animam),
Deflorasti per caedem inexpiabilem.
Talis erat tunc in aedibus
Eris viri domitrix aerumna."
Clytemnestra:
"Nequaquam mortis sortem exopta1470
Hisce gravatus;
Neque in Helenam iram convertas,
Tanquam viriperdam, ac si una multorum
Virorum animas Graecorum perdens,
Intolerabilem dolorem effecerit."
* * * * *
Clytemnestra:
"Mortem haud indignam arbitrar1530
Huic contigisse:
Neque enim ille insidiosam cladem
Aedibus intulit; sed meum ex ipso
Germen sublatum, multum defletam
Iphigeniam cum indigne affecerit,
Digna passus est, nihil in inferno
Glorietur, gladio inflicta
Morte luens quae prior perpetravit."
"Death not unearned, nor yet a novelty in this house; Let him make talk in hell concerning Iphigenia."
(If we allow the last as ironic equivalent of the literal "let him not boast in hell.")
"He gets but a thrust once given (by him)
Back-pay, for Iphigenia."
One can further condense the English but at the cost of obscurity.
Morshead is bearable in Clytemnestra's description the beacons.
"From Ida's top Hephaestos, Lord of fire,
Sent forth his sign, and on, and ever on,
Beacon to beacon sped tjie courier-flame
From Ida to the crag, that Hermes loves
On Lemnos; thence into the steep sublime
Of Athos, throne of Zeus, the broad blaze flared.
Thence, raised aloft to shoot across the sea
The moving light, rejoicing in its strength
Sped from the pyre of pine, and urged its way,
In golden glory, like some strange new sun,
Onward and reached Macistus' watching heights."
[1] Milton, of course, whom my detractors say I condemn without due circumspection.
[2] I.e. Clark is "correct," but the words shade differently. Ἠκα means low, quiet, with a secondary meaning of "little by little."-Submisse means low, quiet, with a secondary meaning of modesty, humbly.