And here I am constrained to record, without the slightest disparagement to my ruler, that having drank three punches before he retired to bed, he was disturbed of his slumbers by seven priests, who came rushing into his chamber, and without so much as giving him time to put on his breeches, dragged him forth in his shirt, and having mounted him on a mule, hurried him out of town at full speed. "The fates have gone against me," said General Potter, musing to himself as he rode silently along on his mule, accompanied by the priests, similarly mounted, but not in their shirts. "But a few hours since, I was measuring the exact dimensions of my glory. Faith of my father! I felt the kingdom as safe between my fingers as need be; and here I am riding a mule for the diversion of these fellows in black gowns; which is an unparalleled discourtesy to a ruler of my standing." Turning to the priests, he addressed them thus: "As you are good and holy men, may I pray that you will respect my position as ruler of this kingdom. Nor do I think it becomes you to trifle thus with my dignity: therefore give me one of your gowns, for the curious figure I am cutting becomes neither of us. And as you owe a duty to heaven, give me raiment, and tell me whither you carry me." The priests made no answer, but whipping up their mules continued on their journey until they reached a grove of palm-trees, some four miles from Nezub, where they halted. And having lighted torches, which threw a curious glow over the foliage, and invested the scene with an air of deep solemnity, they put General Potter on his trial, preparatory to which he was ordered to sit upon the ground, while the most aged of the priests took a seat upon the trunk of a tree.
First, they inquired of him what he had to say touching their punishment in riding the asses in the plaza, which grievously wounded their feelings. "As to the asses, gentlemen," replied Ruler Potter, "they, I take it, are emblematic of penitence, which I am sure your reverences ought not be ashamed of, since if my memory serves me right, (and it is good enough to trust on such matter,) I have read somewhere in Scripture that the apostles rode asses, and were not ashamed."
"Aye," replied the venerable priests, "but that was so long ago, and bears so little resemblance to our case, that it will not serve as a precedent. Heading a band of vagrants in pursuit of plunder, you have overrun our country, caused the death of our good king, and made the priesthood to be scoffed at, which is a crime meriting death. Having set yourself up for a ruler adds no small injury to the insults you have already inflicted upon this kingdom; we therefore condemn you to death, and are resolved to see you hanged on one of these trees at six in the morning." The general essayed to speak in reply to this sentence, but the priests bid him hold his peace, and join them in preparing his soul for heaven. And forthwith they commenced chanting prayers over him; but as their prayers were in Latin, not one word could he understand. Instead, however, of bemoaning his fate, as the reader may be prepared to expect, the condemned betook himself to mourning the loss of his kingdom, and devising means to regain it. He was also not a little puzzled to know what road his graceless army had taken, for he knew in his heart, they would lose no time in getting safely out of the country. In truth he began to curse the day he took command of Glenmoregain's army; for though he might have been a good enough gentleman himself, and have a praiseworthy liking for kingdoms, his army was made up of arrant rascals, who treated their commander as if he were a fool, had no fear of the devil, and deserved hanging.
While then the priests were chanting prayers for his soul, his mind was also occupied with these lines: "The funeral train, with the ruler came, And passing slowly through the grove; Dropped tears of sorrow As honored they lay him in his lonely grave." Then the priests became oppressed for want of sleep; and in short were so overcome with the fatigue of their ride that, having tied their mules to trees, they stripped off their gowns, and, convinced in their own minds that the prisoner would not attempt to escape in his shirt, (or if he did, that his want of raiment was proof against any one taking him in), they stretched themselves down upon the ground, and were soon fast asleep.
Now, notwithstanding General Potter still fancied himself ruler over Kalorama, he felt that his head was quite as well on his own shoulders, for there was his wife Polly, and three children, who, for aught he knew to the contrary might stand much in need of a portion of his spoils, which as yet had been small indeed. He therefore got quietly up, and habiting himself in the hat and gown of a priest, mounted the fleetest mule of the lot, and reaching the high-road, in breathless anxiety, set out at full speed toward Jolliffee, confident that he would overtake or get some tidings of his straying army on the road. When he had got some three miles over the road, he turned in his saddle, listened with great caution, and said: "To the devil with you, Mister Priests, for General Potter owes you no thanks, and can take care of himself. See what it is to leave until morning a job you should have done at night!"
CHAPTER LVIII.
IN WHICH THE READER WILL FIND MUCH THAT IS CURIOUS AND INTERESTING.
WHEN morning came, and the priests were awakened by the singing of birds and the chattering of monkeys (as if in derision at their sloth), they no sooner discovered their great loss than they set to berating each another right soundly; not because they cared a whit for what evil the fellow could do, but that, having set their hearts on the hanging, it only grieved them to find that they had lost so excellent an opportunity of thus skilfully paying the scamp off for his tricks. "Let us preserve peace between us, for perhaps it is ordained of heaven!" said the venerable priest, with great solemnity of countenance. "And remember, brothers, we have made Jose Farino king, and have much need to join him, and lend him our aid in driving these vagabonds out of the country." Much debate was had on this question, which, however, resulted in an agreement to first pursue and recapture the condemned. So after they had refreshed themselves, and offered up prayer for the success of their undertaking, they mounted their mules and set off at full speed. But as is too often the case with them when over-anxious to get sinners to heaven, they forgot to look for the footprints, and galloped their mules in the wrong direction, and there we must leave them.
Being scrupulous of the character which my hero shall maintain for strict honesty, I here enjoin the reader to remember the circumstances under which General Roger Potter, ruler over all Kalorama, was constrained to commit a theft so small as that of the mule and the priest's gown. Life is sweet with the greatest heroes; and let no man question the means by which they seek to preserve it until he has felt the halter about his own neck.
Know then, that while the priests were pursuing their blind way, eager for a victim, the retreating ruler, being hungry and anxious, was entering the cabin of a poor peasant woman, having travelled some twenty miles on the road without stopping. No sooner did the poor woman see him than she fell upon her knees, crossed herself and began saying her beads. In short she paid reverence to him in so many ways that he became alarmed lest she go mad with joy; for being clad in the garb of a priest, and in his bare feet, she mistook him for one of those good and holy men who go over the country renouncing the vanities of the world, and setting an example to others by the terrible penance paid with the soles of their feet. And when she had paid him reverence to her satisfaction, she bid her children provide fodder for his mule, for she saw the animal was in a lather and seriously jaded. "Madam, I am General Roger Potter, ruler over this nation. Being in pursuit of my army, pray tell me if you have seen it straying this way;" spoke the general, with becoming courtesy. But as neither could understand a word the other said, matters became singularly confused, and to all the general's questions, the good woman would answer by placing her hands to her bosom, looking heavenward with appealing sweetness, and whispering: "Holy virgin!"