The alderman listened with great attention to the policeman, converted his rage into discretion, and disappeared in the great bar room of the St. Nicholas, where he forgot his afflictions in a stout draught of water and whiskey, which so addressed itself to his dignity, that after ordering it charged to the city's account, he repaired quietly into the presence of his true friends, who had already began to unite in compliments to the major. "Now, meiger," spoke Mr. Alderman Dooley, approaching the major, with his right hand extended, "understand that it's we that are the riprisintitives of this mitropilas, in which ye're as wilcome as the flowers of May. Mind that now! And may the smiles of heaven rest upon ye, an' upon the gineration ye bilongs to. Gifts, meiger, are given to the great for a pirpose. Faith, it's my own exparience tells me that! Whisht now! (Here he tapped the major confidentially on the arm.) The city manes to do ye 'oner enough, oneyhow. An' its myself and Terry Brady 'll see the pay comes." Terry Brady was the name of the distinguished politician. Mr. Dan Dooley now being, as he said, "entirely done out," flung his hat under the table and himself upon a luxuriant sofa, carved in black walnut, and upholstered with green and orange colored brocade. And upon this he felt great comfort for his feet, while the high colored figures of the Turkey carpet afforded him an excellent target for the substance he ever and anon ejected from his spacious and discolored mouth.
And, too, my high regard for the fair guests of the great St. Nicholas, of whom it was said by these malicious reporters that they rushed "en masse" to receive the major, immediately he entered the house, reminds me that I must not forget to mention, that the only ladies present were the wife of the distinguished politician, and a damsel of fair looks and firm virtue. I am no higilian, and only use the term "firm virtue" here, as being applicable to this damsel; for although no end of slanders had been cast upon her, the man who dared to come forward and say he had trifled with her chastity, was yet to be found. By these, I freely confess he was received with a courtesy worthy of so great a politician.
And now, when it was night, and two thousand jets of gas threw a blaze of light over the massive pile, which seemed suddenly transformed into a regal palace, where high colors and cheap revelry went hand in hand, the party, joined and rejoined by several other distinguished politicians, refreshed themselves on a sumptuous supper, which the landlord had prepared without regard to expense. And when this was over, and the major's arrival had got fully noised about, there came such a throng of rejected humanity that the house presented the appearance of a palace beseiged by bread rioters. And so impassioned did the clamor of the throng become, that I thought if Saint Nicholas, who was supposed to be the presiding deity of this hotel, could look down upon it without a frown, he must be an uncommon saint. In fine, the landlord found that getting so great a politician into his house was not much to its reputation, as the eclat therein gained would be counteracted, with tenfold interest, by the pilfering propensities of his unwashed followers, who now rushed into his house in such ungovernable confusion that guards had to be stationed along the passages, armed with tipstaffs and bludgeons. Indeed, he wished in his heart that the devil or some other gentleman of quality had Major Roger Sherman Potter, for then he could preserve the good name of his patron saint.
Persons of every political hue and circumstance poured in, were presented to the major, and drank of the liquors which were being ordered without stint and despatched with the same freedom by the honorable committee of reception. And thus they came, and drank great draughts, and complimented one another. And although not a few marveled at finding the major such a queer person, and quite unlike what he had been represented, all joined in drinking his health and flattering his vanity. And when it was ten o'clock, there came divers delegations of ungainly persons, (from the custom house, and the post office, and Tammany Hall, and various other halls,) such as fighting men and vagabonds, who, being headed by such ambitious politicians as the invincible George Branders, and flanked by the too honest Emanuel Hart, presented an appearance so suspicious that the guests of the house began to look well to their pockets, while the landlord set several of his servants to gathering up the old clothes. Indeed, it seemed as if rascaldom had broken from its dominions to revel in the palace of St. Nicholas. And as all these shabby gentlemen, but very excellent politicians, stood much in need of something to quench their thirst, it was soon found that the small sum set apart to pay the landlord for all his services, would not even wipe out the score at his bar, to say nothing of the damage done his furniture and other little affairs. He had given bed and board to many a man without getting a dime in return, and thanked heaven that good fortune had enabled him to do so, but now he was not a little disturbed in his temper at the state of his accounts, for he knew the city was as slow to pay an "over ordered" bill as it was quick in paying homage to great demagogues. He therefore, in the kindest manner, intimated to the major, that unless he would be personally responsible for the "surplus," he must close the score at his bar. And this he said in self-protection, for no man could lay the charge of having done a mean act at his door. The major, with becoming courtesy, pledged his honor to the landlord, and bid him think no more of the bill, since if he closed the floodgate of his bar, which gave out such exuberant medicine as made the tears of patriots to flow, his power would surely be at an end. "Be not agitated, sir," said he, with an air of enlarged self complacency, "but convert your misgivings into confidence in me, for I see you are a true republican, and would not harm a man whose fame is so well established." Thus the major addressed the landlord, who retired with regained confidence, and, as I thought, a feeling of self reproach for having intimated his doubts in the matter.
The major was now getting weary with the mighty business of receiving the compliments of ten score would-be patriots and noisy politicians, when there entered a greater man than any of them. And this was no less a person than Don Fernando, a man of much will and circumstance, and now mayor of the city. Many things had been said of this truly great man, not the least of which was, that the Romans ought to be thankful that he was not born in the days of the C‘sars, though in the honest yearnings of his ambition he had frequently indulged in the thought, that his wisdom and invincibility of arm was second to none of them. Indeed, it was said among other things, equally true, that he had more than once consoled himself with the fact, that if he had not gained the notoriety of C‘sar, it was no fault of his will, for he could make promises he never meant to keep, and gnash his teeth at his enemies, to an extent that ought to satisfy the most enthusiastic admirer of Roman greatness. But republicanism, as developed by the prudence of our people, had so changed and altered things, that great men, though they had performed unheard of deeds of valor, were laughed at when they assumed powers not clearly belonging to them.
As the design of this history will be imperfect unless I record what took place when these great men met, and which ought to be read and considered by future generations, I must here inform the reader, that he will find it faithfully translated in the next chapter.
CHAPTER XXVIII.
WHICH CAREFULLY RECORDS WHAT PASSED BETWEEN THE MAJOR AND THE MAYOR-HOW THEY MADE SPEECHES, AND WERE SERENADED.
WE are an exacting people, frequently requiring too much of our great men, and achieving in a week what it took ordinary nations, such as Greece and Rome, years to perform. Therefore I hold it right that we be cautious how we trust the recording of every great event to such witty but careless historians as Bancroft and Prescott, who are much given to pleasing descriptions of wonderful revolutions, but entirely overlook the battered and bruised hero, for the purpose of making others to their fancy.
You must know, then, that this mayor, Don Fernando, (he bore no resemblance to the Don Fernando of Don Quixote,) advanced with the gravity and solemnity of one whose business it was to kill giants; for though he was a man of much humor, he had a necromantic facility for dissembling, and could declare before high heaven his innocence of any crime laid at his door, and in the very next breath issue an order giving peace and comfort to pickpockets. And while I am writing of this great man, I may mention that if there was any one thing more than another he was famous for, it was a curious infatuation for great placards, in which he enjoined all good citizens to preserve the peace, at the same time commanding his worthy vassals, the policemen, to crack the skulls of all who came in their way.