To be "as like as two peas" is a very happy simile, as all who have ever shelled peas will recognise. "As right as a trivet" is still an expression that may be heard from time to time. What those who use it quite mean by it it might perhaps puzzle them to explain. Some tell us that the trivet is a three-legged thing and must therefore necessarily stand firm, while we know by experience that a four-legged article will not always do so. Others tell us that this valuable quality of rightness depends on its being truly rectangular, as if it be not accurately made it will not fit the bars to which we would attach it, and will not give a level surface to stand pot or kettle on. Whatever the true explanation may be the rightness of a trivet is an article of popular faith, and no theorising will have any power to upset our firm belief in its rectitude. "As big as a parson's barn" refers to the olden time when the minister of the parish received his tithes in kind instead of in cash, and had to find sufficient stowage-room accordingly for these contributions.
Various callings were also laid under contribution in the quest for similes. Thus are: "As hungry as a hunter," "as dusty as a miller," "as black as a sweep," or a coal-heaver or a collier, "as sober as a judge," and "as drunk as a lord"—this latter being a relic of the old times when men of wealth and influence thought it no shame to give way to intoxication, and one of the duties of the butler, having supplied them with wine, was to loosen the cravat of any gentlemen who showed any signs of apoplexy, and to generally make their stay beneath the table as comfortable as possible. "As mad as a hatter" is really a corruption of the French, "Il raisonne comme une huitre"—he reasons like an oyster, and has no association with the gentlemen who provide our head-gear. The French proverb, we need scarcely point out, is sarcastic. The oyster when crossed in love, it will be remembered, is thus again made mock of and its feelings derided.
The various colours of the objects that meet our view are also pressed into the service of the seeker after similes; thus we have the excellent one, "as white as snow." We also find "as yellow as a guinea," a coin we rarely see, but familiar enough when this saying was to the fore. "As red as a rose" was common enough as a popular saying, but it is not so happy as many, seeing that roses are not by any means always red. "As red as a lobster" is above reproach if only we come across the creature after he has passed through the boiling stage, and "as white as a sheet" will pass muster. "As green as grass" is admirably descriptive, and "as grey as a badger" will do very well. "As brown as a berry" is more open to question, unless indeed it be a roasted coffee-bean. Berries are white, red, yellow, green, purple, orange, black, but we really cannot at this moment recall a brown one, so that it seems as though to be true we should say "as un-brown as a berry!" Black invites many comparisons. "As midnight," "as coal," "as ink," "as pitch," "as jet," are a few of these.
We were gratified to learn from a Brazilian that they have a simile, "as reliable as an Englishman." Job is of course the model of patience, Solomon of wisdom, Crœsus of wealth, and we have also "as true as Troilus," though the simile never took hold of the popular fancy. He was the Shakespearean ideal of unshaken constancy, and he declares that,
"After all comparisons of truth,
As truth's authentic author to be cited,
As true as Troilus shall crown up the verse."
"As true as steel" is the more ordinary simile that rises to one's memory. Other qualities, good and bad, that have supplied material for the makers of similes are: "Swift as an arrow," "deaf as a post," "ugly as sin," "cold as charity," "bright as the sun," "changeable as the moon," "sweet as sugar," "sour as vinegar," "hard as a diamond," "good as gold," "changeable as a weathercock," "quick as lightning," "firm as a rock," "soft as silk," "clear as crystal," "bitter as gall," "as rosy as an apple," "as cross as two sticks," "as bright as a new pin." Our list has no pretension to be complete—doubtless many others might be recalled; we have, as we write these words, remembered that we have overlooked "as plain as a pikestaff" and "as tight as a drum." Many such omissions will be duly noted by our readers, but our full justification will be found in the fact that we have had no desire or intention to make our list all-embracing. If those we have given are sufficiently representative of the sort of thing we have had under consideration, our object is gained.
FOOTNOTES:
[162:A] This is sometimes rendered "saddling the wrong horse." Cicero, before the Christian era, thus quoted it. His writings and orations teem with proverbs—the foolishness of trying to kill two birds with one stone, the undignified spectacle of a tempest in the classic equivalent of a tea-cup, the statement that while there is life there is hope, and many other such adages familiar to ourselves being introduced.
[165:A] "Give a dog an ill name and hang him, and it may be added, if you give a man, or race of men, an ill name, they are very likely to do something that deserves hanging."—Walter Scott, Guy Mannering. The French say, "Le bruit pend l'homme."