Jack was rather put out on the arrival of a new little brother. "But, Mummy, he has no hair." "No, Jack, he has no hair." "Mummy, he has no teeth." "Oh, no, Jack, no teeth now." "Oh, Mummy, dear, you've been had; they have given you an old 'un."
[HOOK AND AN INSPECTOR OF TAXES]
One of the best remembered of Hook's efforts in extemporising is that recorded of his improvising at a party when Mr. Winter was announced, a well-known inspector of taxes. Without a moment's break in his performance Hook went on:--
"Here comes Mr. Winter, inspector of taxes, I'd advise you to give him whatever he axes, I'd advise ye to give him without any flummery-- For though his name's Winter his actions are summary."
[THE SHE BEAR]
A thoughtful child said to her mother on the way to church: "Mummy, dear! Shall we have that hymn to-day about the she bear?" "I don't remember any hymn about a she bear, darling," replied the perplexed mother. "Whatever do you mean, child?" "I mean the hymn that goes, 'Can a mother's tender care, Cease towards the child she bear?'"
[KNOWLEDGE]
A girl of tender age was a witness at a trial.
"Do you know what an oath is, my child?" asked the judge.
"Yes, sir, I am obliged to tell the truth."