A Scotch minister was once sent for to visit a sick man. On arriving at the house he enquired:
"What church do you attend?"
"Barry kirk," replied the invalid.
"Why, then, did you not send for your own minister?"
"Na, na," replied the sick man, "we would not risk him. Do you no' ken it's a dangerous case of typhoid?"
[KISMET]
A lady who had named her house Kismet engaged an Irish servant. Bridget desiring to know the meaning of Kismet was told it signified "Fate." Shortly after, Bridget was painfully and laboriously descending the stairs. "What is the matter?" asked her mistress. "I've got fearful corns on my Kismet," was the reply.
[THE YOUNG IDEA]
A small boy, asked to name the four seasons, replied: "Pepper, salt, mustard, and vinegar." Another, asked for the principal gases, said: "Oxygen and Cambridgen."