"Ay," responded the judge dryly, "but you and I cannot yet be kindred--for the hog is not bacon until it be well hanged."
[UNION IS STRENGTH]
A country traveller was asked by the landlord of the inn at which he had put up how he had slept. "Well," he replied, "union is strength--a fact of which your inmates seem to be unaware; for had the fleas been unanimous last night they might have pushed me out of bed." "Fleas!" said the landlord, in astonishment, "I was not aware that I had a single one in the house." "I don't believe you have," retorted the traveller, "they are all married and have uncommonly large families."
[COURTSHIP]
"Martha, dost thou love me?" asked a Quaker youth of one at whose shrine his heart's holiest feelings had been offered up. "Why, Seth," she answered, "we are commanded to love one another, are we not?" "Ay, Martha, but dost thee regard me with the feeling the world calls love?" "I hardly know what to tell thee, Seth, I have greatly feared that my heart was an erring one. I have tried to bestow my love on all, but I have sometimes thought, perhaps, that thee was getting rather more than thy share."
[TO LET]
A gentleman, inspecting lodgings to be let, asked the pretty girl, who showed them, "And are you, my dear, to be let with the lodgings?" "No," answered she, "I am to be let alone."
[CUT AND COME AGAIN]
A gentleman who was on a tour, attended by an Irish servant-man, who drove the vehicle, was several times puzzled with the appearance of a charge in the man's daily account, entered as "Refreshment for the horse, 2d." At length he asked Dennis about it. "Och! sure," said he, "it's whipcord it is!"