[PROFESSIONAL]
An editor being asked at dinner if he would take some pudding, replied, in a fit of abstraction, "Owing to a crowd of other matter, we are unable to find room for it."
[THE NEW VERSION]
A class of boys were undergoing an examination in Scripture. The subject was the Good Samaritan. "And why do you consider the Pharisee, after looking at him, passed by on the other side?" "Because he saw he had been robbed already," was the answer given.
[DRAUGHTS]
A well-known judge was so afraid of draughts that the air of his courts was always of a very high temperature. One of his colleagues once explained this habit by saying that he was preparing the bar for a future state.
[TENDERNESS]
A beggar in Dublin had been a long time besieging an old gouty, testy, limping gentleman, who refused his mite with much irritability; on which the mendicant said, "Ah, plase your honour's honour, I wish your heart were as tender as your toes."
[HOW TO ADDRESS A BISHOP]
Little May was going to tea, and her mother was giving her some words of advice. "There will be a Bishop, dear; remember always to address him as My Lord when you speak."