[HYMNS AND HERS]
On seeing a large picture by Watts from Theodore and Honoria a friend once asked Lord Houghton what it represented. "Oh!" he replied, "you have heard of Watts's Hymns. These are Watts's Hers!"
[HORS CONCOURS]
At an evening party a new game was suggested. The guests were each to make the most hideous grimaces that they could and the prize was to go to the ugliest effort.
After long scrutiny the judge awarded the prize to a lady seated away from the others. "I'm not playing," she replied indignantly.
[THE MARINE AND THE BOTTLE]
A story told of William the Fourth, if genuine, shows that king possessed on occasion of a ready tact which is so happy as to be wit. The story runs that when dining with several officers he ordered a waiter to "take away that marine," pointing to an empty bottle. "Your Majesty!" exclaimed one of the officers, "do you compare an empty bottle to a member of our branch of the service?" "Yes," answered the king. "I mean to say that it has done its duty once and is ready to do it again."
[A UNITED COUPLE]
John's wife complains, that John discourses
And thinks of nothing else but horses.
Whilst John, a caustic wag,
Says it's wonderful to see
How thoroughly their tastes agree,--
For, that his wife, as well as he,
Most dearly loves a nag.