It was a dark wintry night, when a belated traveller, in a lonely country district, found himself entirely lost as to his locality.
He wandered aimlessly for some time, till at last he found himself against what he considered a signpost.
All efforts to find out any name on the same failing, he climbed the post and read the words, "Wet paint."
[TICK, TICK, TICK]
Sheridan had taken a new house and meeting Lord Guildford, he mentioned his change of residence, and also a change in his own habits. "My lord, everything is carried on in my new house with the greatest regularity--everything in short goes like clockwork." "Ah!" replied Lord Guildford meaningly, "tick, tick, tick, I suppose."
[DIFFIDENCE]
An Irishman charged with an assault, was asked by the judge whether he was guilty or not. "How can I tell," was the reply, "till I have heard the evidence?"
[THE BAILIFF OUTWITTED]
A bailiff who had tried numerous expedients in vain to arrest a Quaker, resolved to adopt the habit and manner of one, in hope of catching the primitive Christian. In this disguise, he knocked at the Quaker's door and inquired if he was at home. The housekeeper replied, "Yes." "Can I see him?" "Walk in, friend," she said, "and he shall see thee." The bailiff, confident of success, walked in, and after waiting nearly an hour, rung a bell, and on the housekeeper appearing, said, "Thou promised me I should see friend Aminadab." "No, friend," answered the housekeeper, "I promised he should see thee. He hath seen thee, but he doth not like thee."