A small boy walking across a common with his mother espied a bunny. "Look, mother, there goes a rabbit!" "Nonsense, my boy, it must have been imagination." "Mother, is imagination white behind?"
[UNREMITTING KINDNESS]
"Call that a kind man," said an actor, speaking of an absent acquaintance; "a man who is away from his family, and never sends them a farthing! Call that kindness!" "Yes, unremitting kindness," Jerrold replied.
[A WARM PROSPECT]
A well-known judge was credited with being parsimonious. A friend once asked him, "What are you going to do with your money? You cannot take it with you, and if you could it would melt!"
[A SOPORIFIC STORY]
The celebrated Bubb Doddington was very lethargic. Falling asleep one day after dinner with Sir Richard Temple and Lord Cobham, the general, the latter reproached Doddington with his drowsiness. Doddington denied having been asleep; and to prove that he had not offered to repeat all Lord Cobham had been saying. Cobham challenged him to do so. Doddington repeated a story and Lord Cobham owned he had been telling it. "And yet," said Doddington, "I did not hear a word of it but I went to sleep because I knew that about this time you would tell that story."
[ST. PETER AND HIS KEYS]
Curran and Father O'Leary were dining with Michael Kelly when the barrister said: "Reverend Father, I wish you were St. Peter." "And why, Counsellor, would you wish I were St. Peter?" asked O'Leary. "Because, Reverend Father, in that case you would have the keys of heaven, and could let me in." "By my honour and conscience, Counsellor," answered O'Leary, "it would be better for you if I had the keys of the other place, for then I could let you out."