"And if a man suffering from trench feet were brought to you, how would you treat him?" asked the examiner.
The recruit, a Londoner with a good knowledge of the licensing laws, quickly answered: "You won't catch me that way, sir. We should both pay for our own."
[MOLECULES]
"What are you studying now?" asked Mrs. Johnson.
"We have taken up the subject of molecules," answered her son.
"I hope you will be very attentive and practise constantly," said the mother. "I tried to get your father to wear one, but he could not keep it in his eye."
[A THOUGHTLESS SAMARITAN]
Professor Johnson, the antiquary, returning meditatively from a learned discourse, came upon the recumbent body of a man in front of a house. Being a Samaritan he proffered his services, and discovered that the man lived on the first floor. Thither he piloted him and opening a door pushed him gently in. Reaching again the ground floor another human being confronted him and he also needed help to the first floor. But when our Professor found yet another fellow-creature in distress his curiosity was aroused and he said:
"It is strange that there should be three men needing help to the first floor of the same house."
"Not so strange, mister," replied the prone figure, "seeing as 'ow you've dropped me down the lift 'ole twice."