CHAPS
A pretty girl was complaining to a young Quaker that she was dreadfully troubled by chaps on her lips. "Friend Mary!" replied the Quaker, "thou shouldst not permit the chaps to come so near the lips."
[TWINS]
A farmer became the father of twins and on learning the news he was so delighted that he hurried to the nearest post-office and sent this telegram to his sister-in-law.
"Twins to-day. More to-morrow."
[A NATURAL OBJECTION]
The Daylight Saving Bill has its detractors as well as its advocates. Of the former it is said that milkmen are the chief, but as Jones said to William: "It's but natural. A milkman would pour cold water on anything."
[BADLY PUT]
A doctor of eminence was called up on the telephone by an anxious lady. "Are you a baby specialist?" he was asked.
"No," was the reply, "I'm a full-grown man."