[BLOATERS]
"If a bloater and a half cost three ha'pence, what would thirteen cost?" Tommy did not know and was sent into an adjoining classroom to work out the problem. The boy was very quiet, and on looking to see what he was doing the master discovered him before a blackboard covered with figures. "How are you getting on, Tommy?" he asked. "What was the question, sir?" he replied. "If a bloater and a half----" "Oh, bloaters--I've been working it out in kippers!"
[A CONVENIENCE]
During a cross-examination an undertaker produced his business card, on which was a telegraphic address. He was asked why the latter should be necessary.
"Oh," interposed the judge, "I suppose it is for the convenience of people who want to be buried in a hurry."
[THE PRAYER MEETING]
A clergyman met a parishioner of dissolute habits. "I was surprised but very glad to see you at the prayer meeting last evening," he said. "So that's where I was!" replied the man.
[TAKING TIME]
An old negro was taken ill, and called in a physician of his own race. After a time, as there were no signs of improvement, he asked for a white doctor. Soon after arriving, the doctor felt the old man's pulse, and then examined his tongue. "Did your other doctor take your temperature?" he asked. "I don't know, boss," replied the ailing negro, "I hain't missed nothing but my watch as yet."