[DIFFERENCES]
Someone was endeavouring to convince a certain old lady by quotations from Scripture on some point or other. "You see, Madam," said he, "St. Paul in his Epistle to the Ephesians says," and he repeated the passage to her (as he thought, very impressively). "Yes," replied the lady, very collectedly, "I know all about that; but that's just where Paul and I differ!"
[COALS]
During the high price of coals, a gentleman, meeting his coal-merchant, asked whether it was a good time to lay in a stock? The knight of the black diamonds shook his head, saying, "Coals are coals now, sir." To which his customer replied, "I am very glad to hear it, for the last you sent me were all slates."
[MODESTY]
Uncle George gave a children's party. Janet, aged eight, after a silence asked him to help her to some more jam. "Certainly, Janet, but why not help yourself?" The answer came pat, "Because I thought you'd give me more."
[AN UNFORTUNATE REMARK]
Two ladies, sisters, of whom one was a widow and the other with a husband still living in India, called at a house, and on the former leaving, a gentleman offered to escort her to her carriage. But the sisters resembled each other so much that he mistook the widow for the married one, and when she remarked to him, on the way to the door, how very hot it was, he replied, "Yes, but not so hot as where your husband is!"
[MODERN EDUCATION]
Two navvies were arguing on education of the present day.