[TABLE OF COMPARISON]
To instil into the mind of his son sound wisdom and business precepts was Cohen senior's earnest endeavour. He taught his offspring much, including the advantages of bankruptcy, failures, and fires. "Two bankruptcies equal one failure, two failures equal one fire," etc. Then Cohen junior looked up brightly.
"Fadder," he asked, "is marriage a failure?"
"Vell, my poy," was the parent's reply, "if you marry a really wealthy woman, marriage is almost as good as a failure."
[THE INTELLIGENT CAT]
Two suburban gardeners were swearing vengeance on cats.
"It appears to me," one said, that "they seem to pick out the choicest plants to scratch out of the ground."
"There's a big tomcat," the other said, "that fetches my plants out and then sits and actually defies me."
"Why don't you hurl a brick at him?" asked the first speaker.
"That's what makes me mad," was the reply. "I can't. He gets on top of my greenhouse to defy me."