"D'ye think you've beat me? Just whistle the first three or four bars, and I'll hae a try at it."
[AN ODD NOTION]
A lady the other day meeting a girl who had lately left her service, inquired, "Well, Mary, where do you live now?"
"Please, ma'am, I don't live nowhere now," replied the girl; "I'm married!"
["IF----"]
"Faith, and it's meself as 'ill niver foind my shilling by the loight of a match. If I 'adn't 'ave lost it I could 'ave bought a flashloight to foind it with."
[LATE AND EARLY]
The regular routine of clerkly business ill suited the literary tastes and the wayward habits of Charles Lamb. Once, at the India House, a superior said to him, "I have remarked, Mr. Lamb, that you come very late to the office." "Yes, sir," replied the wit, "but see how early I go!"
[A SLIGHT DIFFERENCE]
"I keep an excellent table," said a lady, disputing with one of her boarders. "That may be true, ma'am," says he, "but you put very little upon it."