[SHARP BOY]
A mother admonishing her son (a lad about seven years of age), told him he should never defer till to-morrow what he could do to-day. The little urchin replied, "Then, mother, let's eat the remainder of the plum-pudding tonight."
[THE SENTRY AND HIS WATCH]
"Soldiers must be fearfully dishonest," said a dear old lady in a country village, "as it seems to be a nightly occurrence for a sentry to be relieved of his watch."
[CREDIT]
A beautiful girl stepped into an American store and asked for a pair of gloves. "Why," said a gallant but impudent clerk, "you may have them for a kiss." "Agreed," said the young lady, pocketing the gloves, and her eyes speaking daggers; "agreed; and as I see you give credit, you may charge it in your books, and collect it the best way you can."
[UNKIND]
An indifferent artist, who thought himself an excellent painter, was talking pompously about decorating the ceiling of his drawing-room. "I am white-washing it," said he, "and in a short time I shall begin painting." "I think," replied one of his audience, "you had better paint it first, and white-wash it afterwards."
[NOT COMPULSORY]
A haughty gentleman entering a restaurant was accosted by the waiter with the inquiry, "Soup, sir? Soup, sir?" The customer took no notice and calmly removed his overcoat, on which the waiter reiterated his question. Becoming angry, the gentleman said, "Is it compulsory?" "No," was the reply, "It's oxtail, sir."