A portion of the agreed price is paid at once, and is distributed between the girl's parents and her relatives, who thus become vitally interested in the successful termination of the match; for should it fail of consummation, they must return the gifts received. The balance of the payment is often delayed for a considerable time, and it not infrequently happens that there is still a balance due when the man dies. In such a case no division of his property can be made until the marriage agreement is settled in full.
The completion of the list is the signal for great rejoicing; liquor circulates freely, the men sing daleng (cf. p. 440), and tadek (cf. p. 440) is danced far into the night.
In the yard where the dancing takes place, three inverted rice-mortars are placed one above the other, “to serve as a table for the spirits who always attend.” A dish of liquor is placed on it, while at its side is a spear decorated with a man's belt.
These engagement-parties are the great social affairs of the year, and friends will journey long distances to be present, but the betrothed couple is seldom in evidence, and in many instances the groom is absent.
Following their engagement the children live with their parents until such a time as they are considered old enough to maintain their own home. If the lad comes from a well-to-do family, it is probable that the final ceremony will take place before either of the couple reaches puberty; but, if the groom must earn a living, the marriage may be delayed until he is eighteen or nineteen years old (Plate [XIII]).
When the time for the fulfillment of the agreement arrives, the boy goes, in company, at night to the girl's house. He has a headaxe hanging from his belt, but he is the only one so armed. An earlier writer[41] has described a feigned attack on the house of the bride as Page 278a part of the marriage ceremony, but the present writer did not witness anything of the sort, nor could he learn of any such action.
The groom carries with him a small part of the marriage payment and a valuable jar; these he presents to his parents-in-law, and from that time on he may never call them or their near relatives by name. Should he do so, “he will have boils and the first child will be insane.”
The bride's people have provided a coconut shell filled with water and a wooden dish[42] containing cooked rice. These are placed between the couple, as they sit in the center of the room (Plate [XIV]). The boy's mother drops two beads into the shell cup, and bids them drink; for, “as the two beads always go together at the bottom, so you will go together and will not part. The cool water will keep you from becoming angry.”
Great care must be exercised in handling the cup; for should the contents be shaken the couple will become dizzy, and in old age their heads and hands will shake. After they have drunk, each takes a handful of rice, and squeezes it into a ball. The girl drops hers through the slits in the bamboo floor as an offering to the spirits, but the boy tosses his into the air. If it breaks or rolls, it is a bad sign, and the couple is apt to part, or their children die. In such a circumstance, the marriage is usually deferred, and tried again at a later date; but repeated scattering of the rice generally results in the annulling of the agreement.[43] Should anything in the dwelling fall or be broken during the ceremony, it is halted at once; to proceed further that night would be to court misfortune. However, it may be undertaken again a few days later.
The guests depart immediately after the rice ceremony. No food or drink is offered to them, nor is there any kind of celebration.[44] Page 279