LXIV
‘Je t’ai dépeint sans fard l’exacte vérité,
Tels sont les maux cruels de la captivité.
O vous qui de bonheur goûtez en paix les charmes,
Si vous lisez mes vers, donnez-nous quelques larmes;
S’ils n’impriment chez vous une tendre affection,
Vous êtes, plus que nous, dignes de compassion!’
Speaking of the horrible moral effects of the bad treatment he says:
‘The ruin of their comrades and the depravities which were daily committed in public, impressed right thinking men with so frightful force that this place means a double suffering to them.’
In 1812 it was reported that a batch of incurables would be sent home to France, and Beaudouin resolved to get off with them by making himself ill. He starved himself into such a condition that he was sent into hospital, but the doctor would not pass him as an incurable. He swallowed tobacco juice, and at last, in a miserable state, turned up with the candidates. Then it was announced that no privateersmen, but only regular seamen, would be sent. Beaudouin, being a soldier, and being among the privateersmen, was in despair. However, a kindly English doctor pitied him, cured him of his self-inflicted illness, and got him leave to go.