Enter Servant.
Rich. I shall be lighter,
When I have had a heat.
Mar. Now Sir, the news?
Serv. Mistriss, there are two Gentlemen.
Mar. Where?
Serv. Complimenting who should first enter.
Mar. What are they?
Serv. Heaven knows, but for their strangeness, have you never seen a Cat wash her face?
Uber. Yes.
Serv. Just such a stir they keep, if you make but haste,
You may see 'em yet before they enter.
Enter Antonia and Mercurie.
Mer. Let 'em be what [they [will,] we'll [give] them] fair
Entertain, and gentle welcome.
Ant. It shall be so.
Mer. Then let it be your pleasure.
Ant. Lets stand aside, and you shall see us have
Fine sport anon.
Mer. A fair society, do you know these Gentlewomen?
Ant. Yes.
Mer. What are they?
Ant. The second is a neighbors Daughter, her name is Viola.
There is my kinsmans wife, Portia her name, and a
Friend too.
Mer. Let her—what's she that leads the dance?
1 Serv. A Gentlewoman.
Mer. I see that.
1 Serv. Indeed?
Mer. What?
1 Serv. A Gentlewoman.
Mer. Udsfoot, good Sir, what's she that leads the dance?
2 Serv. My Mistriss.
Mer. What else?
2 Serv. My Mistriss, Sir.
Mer. Your Mistriss? a pox on you,
What a fry of fools are here? I see 'tis treason to understand in this house: if nature were not better to them, than they can be to themselves, they would scant hit their [mouths; my] Mistriss? is there any one with so much wit in's head, that can tell me at the first fight, what Gentlewoman that is that leads the dance?
[Ant.] 'Tis my wife.
Mer. Hum.
Ant. How dost thou like her?
Mer. Well, a pretty Gentlewoman.
Ant. Prethee be quiet.
Mer. I would I could
Let never any hereafter that's a man,
That has affections in him, and free passions,
Receive the least tye from such a fool as this is,
That holds so sweet a wife, 'tis lamentable to consider truly
What right he robs himself of, and what wrong
He doth the youth of such a [Gentlewoman,]
That knows her beauty, is no longer hers,
Than men will please to make it so, and use it
Neither of which lies freely in a Husband,
Oh what have I done, what have I done, Coxcomb?
If I had never seen, or never tasted
The goodness of this kix, I had been a made man,
But now to make a Cuckold is a sin
Against all forgiveness, worse than a murther;
I have a Wolf by the ears, and am bitten both ways.
Ant. How now friend, what are you thinking of?
Mer. Nothing concerning you, I must be gone.
Ant. Pardon me, I'll have no going, Sir.
Mer. Then good Sir, give me leave to go to bed,
I am very weary, and ill-temper'd.
Ant. You shall presently, the dance is done.
1 Serv. Mistriss, these are the Gentlemen.
Mar. My [Husband's welcome] home, dear Sir.
Mer. She's fair still, oh that I were a knave, or durst be one,
For thy sake coxcomb; he that invented honesty, undid me.
Ant. [I thought you had] not known me, y'are merry 'tis well; thought,
And how ist with these worthy Gentlemen?
Ub & Sil. We are glad to see you here again.
Ant. Oh Gent, what ha' you lost? but get you into travels,
There you may learn, I cannot say what hidden virtues.
Mer. Hidden from you I am sure,
My blood boils like a furnace,
She's a fare one.
Ant. Pray entertain this Gent. with all the courtesie,
Fitting my most especial friend.
Mar. What this poor house may yield,
To make you welcome, dear Sir, command
Without more compliment.
Mer. I thank you:
She's wise, and speaks well too, oh what a blessing
Is gone by me, ne'er to be recovered!
Well, 'twas an old shame the Devil laid up for me, and now has hit me home; if there be any ways to be dishonest, and save myself yet,——No, it must not be, why should I be a [fool too——]Yet those eyes would tempt another Adam, how they call to me, and tell me——S'foot, they shall not tell me any thing, Sir, will you walk in?
Ant. How is't, Signior?
Mer. Crazie a little.
Mar. What ail you, Sir?
What's in my power, pray make use of, Sir.
Mer. 'Tis that must do me good, she does not mock me sure?
And't please you nothing, my disease is only weariness.
Ub. Come Gentlemen, we'll not keep you from your beds too long.
Rich. I ha' some business, and 'tis late, and you far from your lodging.
Sil. Well. [Exit manent, Ant. Mar. and Mer.
Ant. Come my dear Mercury, I'll bring you to your chamber, and then I am for you Maria, thou art a new wife to me now, and thou shalt find it e'r I sleep.
Mer. And I, an old ass to my self, mine own rod whips me,—good Sir, no more of this, 'tis tedious, you are the best guide in your own house—go Sir— [Exit Ant. and Mer.
This fool and his fair Wife have made me frantick
From two such Physicks for the soul, deliver me. [[Exit.]
Enter Richardo, Uberto, Pedro, and Silvio.
Ub. Well you must have this wench then.
Ric. I hope so, I am much o'th' bow-hand else.
Ped. Wou'd I were hang'd, 'tis a good loving little fool, that dares venture her self upon a coast she never knew yet, but these women, when they are once thirteen, god speed the plough.
Sil. Faith they'll venture further [for their] lading, than a Merchant, and through as many storms, but they'll be fraughted, they are [mad[e] like Carrecks, only strength and storage.
Ric. Come, come, you talk, you talk.
Sil. We do so, but tell me Richardo, wot thou marry [her?]
Ric. Marry her? why, what should I do with her?
Ped. Pox, I thought we should have [had] all shares in her, like lawful prize.
Ric. No by my faith, Sir, you shall pardon me, I lanch'd her at my own charge, without partners and so I'll keep her.
Ub. What's the hour?
Rich. Twelve.
Ub. What shall we do the while? 'tis yet scarce eleven.
Sil. There's no standing here, is not this the place?
Ric. Yes.
Ped. And to go back unto her fathers house, may breed suspition,
Let's slip into a Tavern, for an hour, 'tis very cold.
Ub. Content, there is one hard by, a quart of burnt sack will recover us, I am as cold as Christmas, this stealing flesh in the frosty weather, may be sweet i'th' eating, [but sure] the Woodmen have no great catch on't; Shall's go?
Rich. Thou art the strangest lover of a Tavern, What shall we do there now? lose the hour and our selves too.
Ub. Lose a pudding; What do'st thou talk of the hour; Will one quart muzle us? have we not ears to hear, and tongues to ask the Drawers, but we must stand here like bawds to watch the minutes?
Sil. Prethee content thy self, we shall scout here, as though we went a haying, and have some mangey prentice, that cannot sleep for scratching, over-hear us; Come, Will you go Sirs? when your love fury is a little frozen, you'll come to us.
Ric. Will you drink but one quart then?
Ped. No more i'faith.
Sil. Content.
Ric. Why then, have with you, but lets be very watchful.
Ub. As watchful as the Belman, come, I'll lead, because I hate good manners, they are too tedious. [Exeunt.
EnterViola with a Key, and a little Casket.
The night is terrible, and I enclos'd
With that my vertue and my self hate most,
Darkness; yet must I fear that which I wish,
Some company, and every step I take
Sounds louder in my fearful ears to night
Than ever did, the shrill and sacred bell
That rang me to my prayers; the house will rise
When I unlock the dore, were it by day
I am bold enough, but then a thousand eyes
Warne me from going, might not [God] have made
A time for envious prying folk to sleep,
Whilst lovers met, and yet the Sun have shone?
Yet I was bold enough, to steal this key
Out of my fathers Chamber, and dare yet
Venture upon mine enemy, the night,
Arm'd only with my love, to meet my friend
Alas how valiant, and how fraid at once
Love makes a Virgin! I will throw this key
Back through a window, I had wealth enough
In Jewels with me, if I hold his love
I steal e'm for; farewell my place of birth,
I never make account to look on thee again;
And if there be, as I have heard men say,
These houshold gods, I do beseech them look
To this my charge, bless it from theeves and fire,
And keep, till happily my love I win,
Me from thy door, and hold my Father in. [Exit.
Enter Richardo, Pedro, Uberto, Silvio, and Drawer with a Candle.
Ric. No more for Gods sake, how is the night boy?
Draw. Faith Sir, 'tis very late.
Ub. Faith, Sir, you lie, is this your jack i'th' clock-house? will you strike, Sir? gi's some more sack, you varlet.
Ric. Nay, if you love me, good Uberto goe,
I am monstrous hot with Wine.
Ub. Quench it again with love, Gentlemen, I will drink one health more, and then if my legs say me not shamefully nay, I will go with you, give me a singular quart.
Draw. Of what Wine Sir?
Uber. Of Sack, you that speak confusion at the bar, of Sack, I say, and every one his quart, what a Devil lets be merry.
Draw. You shall, Sir. [Exit.
Ped. We will, Sir, and a dryed tongue.
Sil. And an Olive, boy, and a whole bunch of fidlers, my head swims plaguely, 'uds pretious I shall be clawd.