Enter Drawer with four quarts of wine.
Ric. Pray go, I can drink no more, think on your promise, 'tis midnight Gentlemen.
Ub. O that it were dum midnight now, not a word more, every man on's knees, and betake himself to his saint, here's to your wench, seignior, all this, and then away.
Rich. I cannot drink it.
Ped. 'Tis a toy, a toy, away wo't.
Uber. Now dare I speak any thing, to any body living, come, Where's the fault? off with it.
Ric. I have broke my wind, Call you this Sack?—I wonder who made it? he was a sure workman, for 'tis plaguy strong work, Is it gone round?
Ub. 'Tis at the last, out of my way, good boy, Is the Moon up yet?
Draw. Yes, Sir.
Ub. Where is she boy?
Draw. There, Sir.
Ub. We shall have rain and thunder, boy.
Draw. When Sir?
Ub. I cannot tell, but sure we shall boy.
Draw. The Gentleman is Wine-wise.
Uber. Drawer?
Draw. Here, Sir.
Ub. Can you procure?
Draw. What Sir?
Uber. A Whore, or two or three, as need shall serve, boy?
Sil. I, a good Whore were worth money, boy.
Draw. I protest Sir, we are all together unprovided.
Ric. The mor's the pitty, boy, Can you not 'vize us where my Child?
[Draw. Neither, in troth sir.]
Ped. Why where were you brought up, boy? [no inckling] of a Whore? no aym my boy?
Uber. It cannot sink in my head now, that thou shouldst marry, Why shouldst thou marry, tell me?
Rich. I marry? I'll be hang'd first: some more wine boy.
Sil. Is she not a Whore translated? and she be, lets repair to her.
Ric. I cannot tell, she may be an offender; but signior Silvio, I shall scratch your head, indeed I shall.
Sil. Judge me, I [do but jest] with thee, what an she were inverted with her heeles upward, like a traitor's Coat? what care I.
Ub. I, hang her, Shall we fall out for her?
Rich. I am a little angry, but these wenches, Did you not talke of wenches?
Sil. Boy, lend me your Candle.
Draw. Why Sir?
Sil. To set fire to your rotten seeling, you'll keep no Whores, Rogue, no good members.
Draw. Whores, Sir.
Sih. I, Whores Sir, Do you think we come to lye with your hogsheads?
Rich. I must beat the watch, I have long'd for't any time this three weeks.
Silv. Wee'll beat the Town too, and thou wilt, we are proof boy; Shall [wee] kill any body?
Rich. No, but wee'll hurt 'em dangerously.
Uber. Silv. Now must I kill one, I cannot avoid it, boy, easily afore there with your candle; Where's your Mistriss?
Draw. A bed, Sir.
Sil. With whom?
Draw. With my Master.
Uber. You lye Boy, shee's better brought up than to lye with her husband, Has he not cast his head yet? next year he will be a velvet-headed Cuckold. [Exeunt.
Draw. You are a merry Gentleman, there Sir, take hold.
Enter Viola.
Viola. This is the place, I have out-told the Clock,
For haste, he is not here. Richardo? no;
Now every power that loves and is belov'd:
Keep me from shame to night, for all you know
Each thought of mine is innocent, and pure,
As flesh and blood can hold: I cannot back;
I threw the Key within, and ere I raise
My Father up, to see his daughters shame,
I'll set me down, and tell the Northern Wind,
That it is gentler than the curling West;
If it will blow me dead, but he will come;
I'faith 'tis cold; if he deceive me thus,
A woman will not easily trust a Man. Hark, What's that?
Sil. within. Th'art over long at thy pot, tom, tom, thou art over long at the pot tom.
Viol. Bless me! Whose that?
Pedro within. Whoo!
Uber. within. There Boyes.
Viol. Darkness be thou my cover, I must fly,
To thee I haste for help—
Enter Richardo, Pedro, Uberto, Drawer with a Torch.
Viol. They have a light,
Wind, if thou lov'st a Virgin, blow it out,
And I will never shut a window more,
To keep thee from me.
Rich. Boy?
Draw. Sir.
Rich. Why Boy?
Draw. What say you, Sir?
Rich. Why Boy? Art thou drunk Boy?
Draw. What would you, Sir?
Rich. Why very good, Where are we?
Uber. I, that's the point.
Draw. Why Sir, you will be at your Lodging presently.
Rich. I'll go to no lodging Boy.
Draw. Whither will you go then, Sir?
Rich. I'll go no farther.
Draw. For Gods sake, Sir, do not stay here all night.
Rich. No more I will not, Boy, lay me down, and rowle me to a Whore.
Uber. And me.
Ped. There spoke an—
Silvio. Then set your foot to my foot, and up tailes all.
Viola. That is Richardo, what a noise they make!
'Tis ill done on 'em: here, Sirs, Richardo?
Rich. What's that Boy?
Draw. 'Tis a Wench, Sir, pray Gentlemen come away.
Viol. O my dear love! How doest thou?
Rich. [My] sweet] heart? even as thou seest.
Ped. Where's thy Wench?
Uber. Where's this bed worme?
Viol. Speak softly for the love of heaven.
Draw. Mistriss, get you gone, and do not entice the Gentlemen, now you see they'r drunk, or I'll call the Watch, and lay you fast enough.
Vio. Alas, What are you? or, What do you mean?
Sweet love, Where's the place?
Ric. Marry sweet love, e'en here, lye down, I'll feese [you].
Vio. Good God! What mean you?
Ped. I'll have the Wench.
Uber. If you can get her.
Sil. No, I'll lye with the Wench to night, and she shall be yours to morrow.
Ped. Let go the Wench.
Sil. Let you go the Wench.
Viol. O Gentlemen, as you had mothers!
Uber. They had no mothers; they are the Sons of bitches.
Ric. Let that be maintain'd.
Sil. Marry then.
Viol. Oh bless me heaven!
Uber. How many is there on's?
Ric. About five.
Uber. Why then lets fight three to three.
Sil. Content. [Draw and fall down.
Draw. The Watch! the watch! the watch! Where are you? [[Exit.]
Ric. Where are these Cowards?
Ped. There's the [W[h]ore].
Viol. I never saw a drunken man before,
But these I think are so.
Sil. Oh!
Ped. I mist you narrowly there.
Viol. My state is such, I know not how to think,
A prayer fit for me, only I could move,
That never Maiden more might be in love. [Exit.
Enter Drawer, Constable and Watch.
Watch. Where are they, Boy?
Draw. Make no such haste, Sir, they are no runners.
Ub. I am hurt, but that's all one, I shall light upon some of ye.
Pedro, thou art a tall Gentleman, let me kiss thee.
Watch. My friend.
Uber. Your friend? you lie.
Ric. Stand further off, the watch, you are full of fleas.
Con. Gentlemen, either be quiet, or we must make you quiet.
Rich. Nay, good Mr. Constable, be not so Rigorous.
Uber. Mr. Constable, lend me thy hand of Justice.
Const. That I will Sir.
Uber. Fy Mr. Constable, What golls you have! is Justice so blind
[She] cannot] see to wash your hands? I cry you Mercy, Sir;
Your gloves are on.
Draw. Now you are up, Sir, Will you go to bed?
Ped. I'll truckle here, Boy, give me another pillow.
Draw. Will you stand up, and let me lay it on then?
Ped. Yes.
Draw. There hold him two of ye, now they are up, be going Mr. Constable.
Rich. And this way, and that way, tom.
Uber. And here away, and there away, tom.
Silv. This is the right way, the others the wrong.
Ped. Th' others the wrong.
All. Thou art over-long at the pot, tom, tom.
Rich. Lead valiantly, sweet Constable, whoop! ha Boyes.
Const. This Wine hunts in their heads.
Rich. Give me the bill, for I'll be the Sergeant.
Const. Look to him, Sirs.
Rich. Keep your Ranks, you Rascalls, keep your Ranks. [Exeunt.
Actus Secundus. Scæna Prima.
Enter Mercury.