“Am I permitted to be as stoical as you are?” said Menelaus. “One must have a great force of spirit, to vanquish a passion like that of love: how cruel, to love without return! Ah! I now condemn myself: let Helen prosecute her quarrel with her relation Polixo, to which I am a stranger.”
“Since this Grecian prince is voluntarily condemned,” said Lucifer, “I am about to pass sentence upon the husbands who have complained of their wives; and upon the wives who have complained of their husbands.”
The judgment was couched in these words: “Since love is natural, and no one can dictate a woman’s will, and since neither the jealousy nor severity of a husband are of any avail, to compel a wife to conjugal fidelity, we order, that all husbands shall suffer the pain of foolish and indiscreet love, without having from that any pretence to restrain them; provided, however, that they may revenge themselves with chance intrigues, and contribute, by their patience and complaisance, to the ruin of their rivals. We ordain, also, that women who complain of the amours of their husbands, shall be condemned to the torments of jealousy; with an equal permission to those ladies who are not beloved by their husbands, to receive the cares and attentions of their neighbours. Finally, we forbid the married of both sexes, to bring any more actions upon these subjects, and reject them, in advance, from court. We command our demons, and principally Asmodeus, the demon of marriage, to bear in hand the execution of the present ordinance. Given in hell, at the grand audience hall, to be signified to whom it may concern.—Signed, Lucifer, king of hell: and countersigned by my lord, the devil Patiras.”
“Signor,” said Cleopatra, “this edict cannot prejudice my rights against Augustus, emperor of the Romans: his ambition prompted him to attach to his triumphal car the queen of the Egyptians: to save myself from this shame, I laid violent hands upon myself. I demand that Augustus should be punished as guilty of my death.”
“Am I responsible for your actions?” said Augustus. “Who informed you that I should put this indignity upon you? Cæsar had loved you; Pompey also, as I believe: that Antony did, no one can doubt. The reputation of those charms by which you had subdued the conquerors of the world, had made such an impression upon my heart, that I would not only have made you its governor, but have re-established you upon the throne of your ancestors; but the timidity so natural to your sex, pride, and haughtiness, misled you: the poison you employed to produce death was so subtle, that I could never discover its nature.”
“All! tyrant,” said Antony to Augustus, “you were not satisfied with having at the same time caused my death and the loss of my empire; but you must also effect the death of my spouse, whom I preferred to the throne.”
“I deny that,” replied Augustus; “you abandoned the field of battle to follow Cleopatra; yourself commanded a servant to give the blow of death, to prevent falling into my hands; it was in conformity to your counsel that Cleopatra killed herself; great Lucifer, I am innocent of these things.”
“We ordain,” said Lucifer, “that both parties should be delivered to their remorse of conscience; if they are not satisfied with this judgment, let them present themselves before Astarte, sovereign of women, to whom Venus and Pallas are associated, where their cases shall be more amply examined.”
There came next a queen, accompanied by many women and girls, armed as soldiers: this was said to be the foundress of the kingdom of the Amazons. To this troop, Zenobia, queen of Palmyra, Elizabeth, queen of England, and other princesses who had governed their states, joined themselves. Amazonide, daughter of Samornas, (so they called the foundress of this female monarchy,) complained against Hercules that he had made some of her subjects captive: against Theseus, who had married one, when their army was defeated in Greece; against Achilles, who had put to death the princess Orythia, for having succoured the Trojans; against Alexander the Great, because, not content with the favours he had received from the queen Thalestris, he had put her kingdom under contribution; against the Ephesians, who, for their ingratitude towards the Amazons, who had founded their city, were themselves delivered to other masters: and thus in the same manner against many other princes and people.
“Illustrious women,” said Lucifer, “a sex so fragile as yours, a monarchy so naturally given to tenderness, could not resist the force of men, nor get away from an empire so sweet as that of love. You have wished to act contrary to your destiny: made to submit, you have desired to command; but women cannot reign but by submissions to the laws of love; that renders men completely amenable to the will of woman. If men have done you wrong, accuse your own hearts; they have done the injury of which you complain. A warrior, proud and gallant, is full of ardour for victory when a fair Amazon is the price of conquest; and on the other hand an Amazon fears to vanquish a young soldier whose amiable qualities have now disarmed her. So we re-commit to yourselves the examination of those affairs you have brought to our tribunal: do yourselves the justice I should do, if I examined the matter with more care, and let all women be convinced, they have no greater enemies than their own hearts.”