“Oh! if we had but known this sooner,” exclaimed I, “so much might have been done—I only parted from Lawless five minutes before I met you, telling him that if Fanny approved of his suit, neither my mother nor I would offer the slightest opposition. But is it really too late to do anything? shall I speak to Fanny?”
“Not for worlds!” exclaimed Oaklands impetuously; “do not attempt to influence her in the slightest degree. If, as my fears suggest, she really love Lawless, she must never learn that my affection for her has exceeded that of a brother—never know that from henceforth her image will stand between me and happiness, and cast its shadow over the whole future of my life.”
He stood for a moment, his hands pressed upon his brow as if to shut out some object too painful to behold, and then continued abruptly, “Lawless has proposed, then?”
“He has asked my consent, and his next step will of course be to do so,” replied I.
“Then my fate will soon be decided,” returned Oak-lands. “Now listen to me, Frank; let this matter take its course exactly as if this conversation had never passed between us. Should Fanny be doubtful, and consult you, do your duty as Lawless's friend and her brother—place the advantages and disadvantages fairly before her, and then let her decide for herself, without in the slightest degree attempting to bias her. Will you promise to do this, Frank?”
“Must it indeed be so? can nothing be done? no scheme hit upon?” returned I sorrowfully.
“Nothing of the kind must be attempted,” replied Oaklands sternly; “could I obtain your sister's hand tomorrow by merely raising my finger, I would not do so while there remained a possibility of her preferring Lawless. Do you imagine that I could be content to be accepted out of compassion? No,” he added, more calmly, “the die will soon be cast; till then I will remain; and if, as I fear is only too certain, Lawless's suit is favourably received, I shall leave this place instantly—put it on the score of health—make Ellis order me abroad—the German baths, Madeira, Italy, I care not, all places will be alike to me then.”
“And how miserable Sir John will be at this sudden determination,” returned I, “and he is so happy now in seeing your health restored!”
“Ah! this world is truly termed a vale of tears,” replied Harry mournfully, “and the trial hardest to bear is the sight of the unhappiness we cause those we love. Strange that my acts seem always fated to bring sorrow upon my father's grey head, when I would willingly lay down my life to shield him from suffering. But do not imagine that I will selfishly give way to grief—no; as soon as your—as soon as Lawless is married, I shall return to England and devote myself to my father; my duty to him, and your friendship, will be the only interests that bind me to life.”
He paused, and then added, “Frank, you know me too well to fancy that I am exaggerating my feelings, or even deceiving myself as to the strength of them; this is no sudden passion, my love for Fanny has been the growth of years, and the gentle kindness with which she attended on me during my illness—the affectionate tact (for I believe she loves me as a brother, though I have almost doubted even that of late) with which she forestalled my every wish, proved to me how indispensable she has become to my happiness. But,” he continued, seeing, I imagined, by the painful expression of my face, the effect his words were producing on me, “in my selfishness I am rendering you unhappy. We will speak no more of this matter till my fate is certain; should it be that which I expect, let us forget that this conversation ever passed; if, on the contrary, Lawless should meet with a refusal—but that is an alternative I dare not contemplate.—And now, farewell.”