Fanny's First Novel

by Frank Frankfort Moore

FANNY BURNEY had been forced, for the first time, to make her sister aware of the fact that she knew she was looked on as the dunce of the brilliant Burney family. She could see that her doing so had startled her sister, for neither Esther nor any of the other girls had ever suggested to her that they thought of her as being on a different level from themselves, though it was tacitly allowed that it was a great pity that Fanny did not emulate them in taking pains to shine as it was expected the children of that estimable master of music, Dr. Burney, should shine, so as to make the house in that narrow little street off Leicester Fields attractive to its many distinguished visitors.

Fanny had truly defined her place in the household. She had recognized her place for several years; but there was not the least suggestion of rancour in her tone when talking to her brilliant elder sister, for the simple reason that there was no bitterness in her heart against any member of the family for being cleverer than herself. Fanny took pride in the accomplishments of her sisters, and was quite content with her position in relation to them. She got on well with all of them, because she was fond of them all, and they were all fond of her. She had not rebelled when her father had sent her younger sisters to be educated in Paris, and had allowed her to pick up her own education as best she might in his own library; and it had been a great happiness to her to be allowed the privilege of copying out for the press the first volume of her father's “History of Music.” It was her stepmother who, finding out that Fanny had what Mrs. Burney called “a taste for writing,” had suggested that that was the legitimate channel in which such a taste should flow; and it was her stepmother who had induced her to make a bonfire of all her own writings—the scribblings of her girlhood that represented the foolish errant flow of her “taste for writing “: and now and again she had a consciousness of her own duplicity in failing to resist the impulse that had come upon her to do some more of what her mother termed her “girlish scribbling.”

One of the guilty secrets that Fanny cherished was that when it was believed she was writing her long letters to her old friend Mr. Crisp, she had been composing a novel which was now about to be given to the world; the second was that Signor Rauzzini, the handsome young Roman singer with whom half the fashionable ladies of the town were in love, was in love with her.

These were two secrets worth the cherishing, she knew; and the thought of them more than compensated her for the reflection that she was the dunce of the family, and that the unconscious tone of patronage adopted toward her by her elder sister and the dreadful compliments paid to her plain sewing, as though plain sewing represented the highest hopes that could reasonably be entertained in regard to her, were only to be looked for in the circumstances.

The two secrets were closely bound up together, she knew. She had the deepest affection for Signor Rauzzini. How could she fail to return the feeling which the whisper of his musical voice had told her he had conceived for her? He loved her in spite of the fact that she was the least attractive member of the family—in spite of the fact that half the town was at his feet, and that he might have made his choice from among the best. He had chosen her whom no one else had ever noticed, with the exception of her father's old friend, Mr. Crisp, and—oh, yes (she laughed now, perceiving that she had done an injustice to the other person who had been attracted to her—mainly, she thought, on account of her reputation for plain sewing)—a young man named Thomas Barlowe, the excellent son of the well-known mercer of gold and silver lace, in the Poultry!

Thinking of young Mr. Barlowe by the side of Signor Rauzzini, Fanny laughed again. She had so restricted an opinion of her own attractiveness that the tears actually came into her eyes for having given that derisive laugh as she compared the two young men; and she felt that she had been grossly ungrateful to young Mr. Barlowe; for even young Mr. Barlowe had a right to look above her level for a wife. As the daughter of a simple music master with a large family she could have no endowment so far as worldly goods were concerned; and she knew that the practical parents of young business men, as a rule, looked for their sons to marry, if not great fortunes, at least young women with a few thousands to their names.

She felt that she had treated the condescending young Mr. Barlowe very badly in laughing at the poor figure he cut by the side of the angelic Roman singer—she had failed to resist the temptation to call Signor Rauzzini angelic in one of her letters to Mr. Crisp—and now, in thinking of Mr. Barlowe as a very worthy young man, she was unconsciously relegating him to a hopeless position as a lover. It is not the very worthy young men who are beloved by young women of a romantic temperament: if it were there would be very few romances left. But little Miss Burney desired only to ease the twinges of her conscience for having laughed at the thought of young Tommy Barlowe; and she thought that she had done the right thing in assuring herself that he was a very worthy person.

And then she thought no more about him. She had a feeling that to give another thought to him when she had such a man as Signor Rauzzini to think about, would be a constructive act of treason in regard to Rauzzini. She had received many hints from her stepmother to the effect that all the family considered her to be a very fortunate young woman (all things taken into account) in having a chance of marrying the Thomas who seemed ready to pay his addresses to her; but though quite submissive to her stepmother in household matters, she was ready to face her with the “Never!” of the avowed rebel in the matter of consenting to wed the highly approved Thomas, and so she dismissed him from her thoughts, in favour of the man whom she loved.

But thinking of the man whom she loved was by no means equivalent to passing into a region of unalloyed happiness. She had mystified her sister by the way in which she had spoken about Signor Rauzzini, and the seal had been put upon the mystery by her frank acknowledgment that she did not think a union between so distinguished a man as Rauzzini and so insignificant a person as herself was likely to be satisfactory.

She had certainly allowed Hetty to go away believing that this was in her mind; and that was just what was in her mind when her thoughts turned from Thomas, whom she considered so estimable, to Rauzzini, whom she loved. She loved the Roman singer so truly that she had made a resolution never to consent to his marrying anyone so insignificant as she believed herself to be.