As soon as they had gone quite a while
Old Pa Bear sneaked out, then called with a smile;
"Come out, hustle up, there's nothing to fear;
There's honey enough for all of us here!"
"To me," says Ma, "this thing spells ruin;
I feel that there is trouble brewin'!"
"Tut, tut!" says Pa, "just like a fool!
'Tis plain you never went to school.
If you could read you'd plainly see
That this was sent a gift to me.
'Bee-ware' is honey, surely you know;
And 'For-Bear' is what it says below.
Now cubbies, you see how much you need
To learn right soon to write and to read.
So study real hard, become a power—
A Cub reporter, some day, or maybe the bar."
"Dip in," said he, "la, la it's swell!"
And then let out an awful yell!!——
For the trap had sprung and caught him fair——
The fam'ly quickly ran to the lair.
Then ping!! crack!! crack!! a loud report!!
"All in!" cried they, "Oh, my, what sport!"
They skinned him and carried away the dead;
But not a pall-bearer once bared his head.
On this Bear's sad end the grocer oft does gloat—
What's now left of Pa is a big winter coat.
When the weather's cold (not immodest nor sin)
The Grocer comes forth just in his bear skin.
The Cubs, thus bereft, were frightened quite,
They sobbed and they cried with all of their might.
"Come, Bairns," said Ma, "let's off to the wood;
I'll get you a new pa who'll do as Bears should."
She did it and made a most excellent wife,
And all are now living the happiest life.
Missing You
Impelled by lonesomeness, the Jumbler is inspired to this bit of sentimental rhyme.
Feeling mighty lonely;
Yes, getting pow'ful blue;
Dearie, here's the answer:
I'm missing, missing you.
Rain beats 'gainst the window,
Or skies are bright and blue;
Doesn't seem to matter—
I'm missing, missing you.
Days are long and tiresome,
And nights seem endless, too;
Slumber is a stranger—
I'm missing, missing you.
Writing rhyme is easy,
'Bout all that I can do;
Ev'ry word in English
Now wants to rhyme with You.
If I thought, my dearie,
That you missed me, too,
I should then be happy
In missing, missing you.
Joy lives close to Sadness,
The steps are short and few:
Changing just one letter
Makes "missing" "kissing" you.
INDEX
| PAGE | |
| Greetings | [9] |
| Introspection | [10] |
| An Acknowledgment | [11] |
| Pay! Pay!! Pay!! | [12] |
| Taffy and the Man | [13] |
| Myself vs. Me | [15] |
| To "The Quiet Observer" | [16] |
| A bas Polyanna | [18] |
| If You'd Marry | [19] |
| To My Valentine | [20] |
| All Mine in Dreams | [22] |
| Should Dreams Come True | [23] |
| Lotus Eating | [24] |
| Fergit Dem Dreams | [25] |
| Fickleness of Maidens | [28] |
| Constancy—As Applied to One Man | [29] |
| Handle With Care | [30] |
| The One and the Only | [31] |
| My Garden | [33] |
| My Threnody | [35] |
| Eternity | [36] |
| A Medley: | |
| I, 'Ear, Noes | [38] |
| Ode to a Sylphine Figure | [38] |
| Feelin' Blue | [39] |
| A Bare Story | [39] |
| A Truth | [40] |
| Hooverize | [40] |
| Fine | [40] |
| Fugax, Sequax; Sequax, Fugax | [41] |
| A Betrayal of Irish Ancestry | [41] |
| Exit Cooky | [41] |
| The Limit | [41] |
| Safety First | [42] |
| Unbearable | [42] |
| Wrong Prescription | [42] |
| Seeing Double | [43] |
| Wisdom | [43] |
| Just Talk | [44] |
| The Man Who Made Umph-ta-ta Smile | [46] |
| Myself and Me | [49] |
| C'est la Guerre | [50] |
| Spring Styles | [51] |
| Strictly Proper | [53] |
| 18 to 45 | [56] |
| You Never Can Tell | [58] |
| An Ounce of Prevention | [59] |
| Fear Not | [61] |
| Eat What's Set Before You | [62] |
| Show Me | [64] |
| Damfino Jones | [66] |
| Silent Bill | [68] |
| Buster Boy | [70] |
| Not Forgetting Dad | [71] |
| Chromatic | [73] |
| Enuf! | [74] |
| The Evening Bath | [76] |
| The Dirty-Neck Policeman and the Black Hand | [78] |
| Do You Believe in Santa Claus? | [80] |
| Shaving Time | [82] |
| The Big Black Bear | [84] |
| Missing You | [87] |