It came to pass, however, that a new hope sprang up among the toilers at the Handle. Owing to their incessant occupation during their long days, they had no leisure to think, but they gathered together during the short night to growl and snarl, and damn things in general and greedy fleas in particular. They schemed and plotted many remedies which all came to naught.
But one night, one of the dogs that had a big head and looked to have wisdom, got up and said: “Brethren, I do perceive that all these violent methods of rectifying our wrongs do fail. Now, I pray you, consider; we dogs be many and these fleas be few, why then are we not their masters? Why are we their slaves? I know that fleas have been divinely ordained to find us employment, and dogs to serve them, in the Fear of God, for even so hath the much-salaried barker in the Church of the Fleas,—the great Reverend Tee de Little Wit Blatherskite—told us, and he knoweth a thing or two about God’s purposes. But, as the same much-salaried barker also saith, they were ordained to be kind to us and treat us with justice and mercy. But, brethren, ye know that they do treat us most devilishly. Now, all this comes to pass because they do not know how many we are and what we think about them. There’s where it is, brethren; if we had some regular and orderly method of telling them how many we are, and what we think of them, they would surely give heed unto our cries and demands, for we are many—very many. If we could authoritatively—authoritatively, brethren,—state to them our Will, they would surely ameliorate our lot and treat us with generosity. And when they have once been made to know what is the Expressed Will of the Dogs, they will see that it is Public Opinion and will bow to it. Thus, my brethren, shall we be FREE.”
And all the other dogs arose on their hind legs and cried in a great chorus: “It is an Inspiration, it is an Inspiration: it cometh from Above.”
And the dog, seeing that his idea was well received, was encouraged and went on, “Brethren, this idea is far better than the White Label idea, or that of lengthening the Handle. Those methods are merely empirical nostrums and expedients, but this is a radical remedy and a perfect cure. Now behold the application of it. I have invented a device which I call the ‘Will of the Dogs Expresser.’ It is a little box with a little slot in the top thereof, and hath a bottom that openeth by way of a little trap door into a long shute. I propose to fix up the slotted box right near the Handle of the Mill (with the sanction, of course, of the owners thereof) so that the long shute shall reach right down to where the big fleas sit. And it shall be that on certain days (by permission of the fleas) every dog shall receive a little strip of paper on which he shall write his Will (if he have one), and shall fold it up and drop it through the little slot into the little box. And it shall be that when the little box is full some one shall pull down the little trap door in the bottom thereof, when the load of papers shall go in a thundering avalanche down the shute into the midst of the fleas around the Tank, and they shall know that the Will of the Dogs Expresser hath spoken. Then shall the fleas sort out the bits of paper, and it shall be that if there be more bits of paper that will one thing, than there are that will another thing, then the thing willed on the greater number shall be done. Thus ye see, my brethren, we may will whatsoever we will, and the greater will shall be done. Therefore brethren, whatsoever evils we suffer for the future, will be all due to our own fault.”
And all the dogs approved the plan, and sent a committee down next day to the fleas to see if they had any objections to the new invention. And to the delight of the dogs, the big fleas said they thought it an excellent idea, that reflected great credit on the inventor thereof, and he ought to be rewarded by appointment to the place of Chucker-in-in-Chief at the hopper, and they thought the plan would be a very healthy form of amusement for the dogs, and would tend to Good Order and the Stability of Institutions, and they wished all success to the Expresser. Furthermore, they graciously offered to do the counting of the papers at the bottom of the shute; and they even went so far as to graciously condescend to be the Public Servants of the dogs at the Handle, and do anything the dogs, by their Expresser, might order them to do, saying that, seeing fleas had all wealth and leisure and power and respectability, none could be so fit to carry out effectively the Will of the Dogs.
But what astounded the dogs with an astonishment that struck them blind and dumb, was that the fleas begged the dogs to allow them the privilege of becoming their Equals on the great Paper Dropping Day, and drop their little Wills into the little box with the little slot in it.
So the committee returned and reported the gracious way in which they had been received, the wonderful affability of the fleas, and their condescension in offering themselves as the Servants of the dogs.
Whereupon the dogs did rejoice with exceeding great joy that they had at last found a Sovereign Remedy for their sorrows.