CHAPTER XII.
The Arisers.—Chaos Menders.—Moral and Spiritual tinkers and cobblers.—Artificial piety.—Praise Convention.—A Holy One a Maker of Long Prayers and Short Wages, is very hopeful.
NOW as soon as the Apologist Philosophers and their Proverb Foundry arose it was as though they had opened the doors of a Bottomless Pit where were confined an infinite host of Arisers; for from that time on there arose, and arose, and arose an endless succession of until-then unknown and needless Chaos Menders who came forth equipped with moral saws and hammers and jack planes and set up shop all over Canisville and put out big flaring signs setting forth that all manner of Moral and Spiritual Cobbling and Repairing was done there on the shortest notice; special attention being given to the Production of Public Virtue amongst dogs, by a large corps of operators, in the highest degree skilled in the art of fitting all sorts, sizes and qualities of dogs to Standard Moral Measurement, by the use of the latest improved and perfected machinery, warranted to lengthen, shorten, flatten, puff out, square up, round off, expand or compress as required. Also Corrupt Trees carefully trained and made to bear the best of Good Fruit; thorns made to bear grapes, and thistles to bring forth figs; all under the able superintendency of their various agents.
First, there arose divers well-meaning dogs of prophets who imagined they could restore the fighting, squabbling community to a state of decency by schooling the dogs into a habit of compelling their brains to sever all relationship and connection with their stomachs.
So when they were ready with their Plan they sent one into the Public Place, crying, “Behold now, this fighting and bad temper is all wrong; ye ought to deal kindly with one another. Lo! I come to proclaim peace.”
And an infidel dog said, “How wilt thou bring peace when there are more hungry dogs than bones?”
And the prophet said, “Let us bear with one another; let us resolutely put away from us all malice and evil thoughts, and be kindly affectioned one to another; and when one of us has found a bone, let not the other one cast covetous and hungry eyes upon it, but let him meekly bear his lot; and when his belly rumbles through emptiness, and he be tempted to rush upon his neighbor’s bone, let him put up a little prayer to the Providence which hath wisely ordained our several lots, and howl a little hymn thus: