As to Lovely Anthony the Dog Catcher, his brain having been properly embalmed and eternally fixed, he only waxed more zealous in his efforts; and he prophesied, with all the certainty of one that knew, that sometime during next Eternity all bad and vicious dogs will have been suppressed, and all others walloped into loving God; and all the relations between dogs and fleas will have been harmonized according to the eternal rights of fleas to suck blood.
CHAPTER XVI.
Joy Amongst the Salaried Barkers over Saint Anthony the Dog Catcher.—Apotheosis of Anthony.—Marvellous Efflorescence of His great Bump.—Receives Great Praise from the Monstrous Fleas.
NOW when the Church of the Fleas had diligently considered Lovely Anthony the Dog Catcher for awhile, they said one to another, “Lo! The Kingdom of Heaven is at hand.”
And the salaried barkers said amongst themselves, “Behold, a powerful helper in the Vineyard! Now shall our labors be easy and our burdens light. Now will it not be so hard to persuade dogs to come to the Means of Grace. No longer shall we have merely our labor and sweat for our pains. Now shall we gather in the erring by wholesale, for with Lovely Anthony to twist their tails for us they will more easily see the error of their sinful ways. No longer shall our ‘Missions’ be filled with empty benches. No longer will those depraved loafers dare to make grievous faces at our Missionaries. No longer shall Vice stalk abroad hindering and nullifying the irresistible Gospel; for God hath now the valuable help of the police. Things are as they should be, and the lines are fallen unto us in pleasant places. Thank God for Anthony.”
And the salaried barkers of the Church of the Fleas did send messengers unto the dwelling place of the Lovely Anthony, to reverently inquire of him when it would be convenient to him to come down and be made a god of. And Anthony the Dog Catcher was graciously pleased to appoint a day, and they brought him to the Sanctuary and set him on high and burnt incense and sang praises unto him and prostrated themselves before him and hailed him as their Dexter Bower and their Sinister Bower and their Great Labor Saver, the great Sin Killer and Bringer-in of the Millennium.
And they put upon his head a golden crown, and in his paws a hammer of iron and fetters of brass, crying “Hail! King of Depravity Squelchers! With these tools shalt thou bring in the Kingdom of Righteousness and Love!”