And Lovely Anthony the Dog Catcher and Depravity Squelcher was graciously pleased with their homage, and smiled and felt good, and held up his head; when lo! on the top thereof, on the spot marked on human skulls by creatures called phrenologists as the bump of Self-Conceit, there appeared an elevation which, throbbing and swelling like unto “rising” dough, grew and grew until it reached half a cubit in height and burst into flower; at which wonderful moment the sun did shine through the window full upon him. Whereupon there fell upon the adoring barkers a great awe; and they said these signs were Heaven’s seal set unto Lovely Anthony’s patent new method of bringing in the Kingdom of Heaven upon earth.
Then did the salaried barkers send around to the Monstrous Fleas and pray them to come along at once and see the great and divinely appointed Sin Killer and pay him their worshipful respects. But the Monstrous Fleas returned answer that they had a great work to do, and could not come around; that they exceedingly regretted that they were just then so excessively busy filling their paunches with blood, and trying to hold themselves up to the requisite standard of tight plethora, that they could not come down, and that they sent their highest regards to their Heaven-sent friend and Society Saviour, with their loftiest approval of and profoundest admiration for his new method of holding bad, depraved and vicious dogs with their noses towards Virtue and the open church doors—which was, they said, absolutely necessary to the Safety of Investments and the Regularity of Dividends, to say nothing of the saving of poor dogs’ precious and immortal souls which lay very near to their hearts—and that if the Lovely Anthony could spare a few moments and step around to see them as they sat about the Tank, why they would be very happy to worship him for a few moments.
And it was so. And Lovely Anthony did step around to see them, and the Monstrous Fleas inclined their heads as they drank, and gave him the assurances of their most distinguished consideration and promises of unlimited contributions of wealth to his great and noble work. And Anthony was much pleased with their homage and the blessed evidences of their love for him; and the elevation on the top of his head went up another half cubit and bore several flowers.
And the Monstrous Fleas showed him to the dogs that did grind at the Handle; who did droop their heads and tremble with awe of him, and make solemn resolutions within themselves to be good and nevermore think evil of the Monstrous Fleas that had been divinely appointed to drink the blood they had been divinely appointed to grind out for them.
CHAPTER XVII.
One-eyed Elder Berry is Jealous of Lovely Anthony.—His Philosophy and Logic.—His Plan to Save Little Bow-wows and How it Worked.—Remarkable Success of the Society in not Preventing Cruelty.
