So the Immaculate got himself up in slouchy raiment, and taking with him several soft-headed bow-wows, also got up in slouchy raiment, proceeded one moonless midnight, by divers dark and devious ways (which came natural to him), to the haunt of the filthy dogs, and having knocked at the door, waited for admission.
Whereupon the Inside Guard of the Haunt peered through the wicket of the door, and seeing strangers there, demanded of them, “Who are ye, and what want ye?”
To which demand the Immaculate replied, “We be Jays and Hayseeds from a far country, and seekers after midnight pleasures.”
“Are ye true and honest seekers?” asked the Inside Guard.
“In the name of honesty and all verity, we are,” answered the Immaculate.
“But, how shall I know that ye are not spies?” queried the Inside Guard.
“By our proving to you,” said the Immaculate, “that we are really and truly filthy dogs, like unto you.”
“But,” said the Inside Guard, “something about your garb seems to indicate that thou and thy fellows are not what thou sayest ye are; that ye are not really filthy dogs. Wilt thou swear to me that ye are what thou sayest ye are?”
“Yea, verily, will I,” replied the Immaculate Barkworst, “I do solemnly swear, that I am a dirty dog, a very dirty dog; that in spite of something in my garb, I am a low-down, filthy reveller from Filthville, and that these, my pals, are as filthy as I, if not filthier. Behold, also, we have the wherewithal to pay for seeing your sports.”
But the Inside Guard still suspiciously hesitated, and said, “Pardon me if I seem discourteous in keeping ye thus long in the cold; but we are such harassed and hunted dogs; there are so many Societies seeking our destruction and scatteration, that we are obliged to be very cautious and careful; and ye may be spies also seeking to betray us. Now, will ye swear unto us that if we deal faithfully with you, ye will also deal faithfully with us?”