What is the difference between a cow and a rickety chair? One gives milk and the other gives way (whey).
What flower most resembles a bull's mouth? A cowslip.
What does a stone become in the water? Wet.
If the alphabet were invited out to dine, what time would U, V, W, X,
Y, and Z go—They would go after tea.
When was beef-tea first introduced into England? When Henry VIII dissolved the Pope's bull.
What letter is the pleasantest to a deaf woman? A, because it makes her hear.
When is love a deformity? When it is all on one side.
Why is a mouse like hay? Because the cat'll (cattle) eat it.
Why is a madman equal to two men? Because he is one beside himself.
Why are good resolutions like ladies fainting in church? Because the sooner they are carried out the better.