—But he is unsociable and uncommunicative, nor could it be otherwise, remembering and knowing such a horror, and looking at all the other children, for instance, as at something perfectly alien to him, from which he had fled away into another path, into a good path or a bad one—
The blood at times torments him. But the chief thing:
(He is violently carried away by something, by Hamlet, for instance.)
The Inhabitants of the Moon.
It is not this alone that isolates him from everybody, but really his dreams of power and his enormous height above everything.
From that height he is kept back by science, poetry, etc., i.e. in the sense that these are higher things and that it is therefore necessary that he should be higher and better in them too.
Only to prepare oneself, but he is strangely certain that it will all come by itself. Money will solve all questions.
The chief thing. The meaning of the first part—Hesitation, insatiable desire for the ideal, instinctive consciousness of superiority, power and strength. Looking for a fixed point to rest upon. But at any rate an unusual man.
Page 11.[[78]]
or better:—Not a single dream of what to be and what’s his vocation prevented him from amassing money.
—But doubt is always solved by the necessity of money and the chance of amassing a fortune (he sells himself to the men-servants).